A few weeks ago a young man from Blissfield, MI was suspended from school for the rest of the year.  His crime; he had forgotten to take a pocketknife out of his backpack after a recent camping trip.  He found it while on a field trip with his high school band.  He immediately gave it to one of the chaperons and explained the situation.  He had not brought the knife intentionally or with and desire to hurt anyone.

     The school board suspended him for the rest of the year.  That’s a little tough for a young man who had never been in trouble before and was a responsible member of the community.  Because of the uproar amongst  t he other students and city residents, the school board did reduce his suspension to only 10 days.  Unfortunately  that caused him to miss his prom this year.

     I’m not saying he didn’t deserve some kind of consequences for his actions, even though it was clearly not premeditated.  I am, however, concerned with what message we are sending to our children.  Had he just not said anything, he would have been safe, but because he chose to be honest, he was punished.

     This reminds me of an experience my daughter had during her senior year.  The high  school had a policy that any senior could have an excused absence to check out possible career choices.  Martha asked to take a day off to go to Toledo, OH where they were holding modeling tryouts.  When she asked the office for permission, she was told it would be treated  as an unexcused absence.  That meant she could not make up any missed work.  Martha was an honor student with a 4.0 GPA.  She had never been in trouble either in or out of school.  That’s when I stepped in.

     I spoke to the principal and attendance officer and told them we were indeed going to to a modeling tryout.  Martha was telling the truth.  They wouldn’t budge.  Then I said,

     “I could have called the office and just said that Martha was sick and there would have been no problem.  But that is a lie and we don’t lie because we are Christians.  What exactly are you wanting to teach our children?  It is better to lie than tell the truth.  It is better to be deceptive than to be honest?”  They quickly changed their minds and Martha was able to get an excused absence for that day.  She never did become a model, but she is an excellent ER nurse in Columbus, OH and we are very proud of her.

     The adults that help care for and teach our children need to carefully consider the decisions they make.  We all make mistakes and some people will lie to stay out of trouble.  We should never assume we  know the whole truth unless we investigate first.  Even if we find an infraction, let the punishment fit the crime.  I speak not only as the parent of three grown children, but also as a retired school principal.