Before he deals with the economy, President-Elect Obama will have to deal with a much more politically delicate quesiton: what type of puppy should he get?
He promised his girls a puppy if they moved to the White House but at his first post-election press conference, he noted that one of his girls is allergic. So they want a hypoallergenic dog but, being a fighter for the “least of these,” he wants it to be a “shelter dog” (or, a “mutt like me” as he charmingly put it).
Thanks to the miracle of cross breeding, the nation is now flooded with poodle half-breeds. Poodle’s have hypoallergenic hair instead of sneeze-inducing fur. So canny dog breeders have given us Cockapoos (Poodle + Cocker), Labradoodle (Poodle + Labrador) etc.
We are lucky enough to have a cockapoo, Chester. We adore him but…
We thought we’d get the cuteness of a cocker and the brains of a poodle but instead we got the dimwittedness of a cocker (and its irritability) and, well, the hair of the poodle. He stays up at night, perched at the window, barking at cars that drive by. He’s afraid of cockroaches. He rolls in the neighbor’s cat poop.
But low cockapoo IQ is not the big problem for Obama. These hybrids have been called “designer dogs.” If Obama gets a pricey, poodle hybrid, the Conservative Media Establishment will accuse him of being a pampered elitist, who eats arugula, bowls badly and nuzzles his Golden Doodle while sipping a glass of Honest Tea.
I suppose, you might say, he shouldn’t let Rush Limbaugh have veto power over puppy type. And it’s is true that Chester’s is the softest, must scrumptious fluff-ball in our house.
Ok, so maybe there’s a way. He just has to make sure that the poodle hybrid fits his other campaign themes — perhaps a seeing eye labradoodle who’s had to work two jobs just to afford dog food? .