Dating today is an entirely different ball game than it was decades ago, and thanks to the pandemic, things just got less complicated for once.

No longer should you spend hours looking for the perfect outfit or applying a wild makeup look. Go for a more authentic appearance instead of opting for what your favorite celebrity wore last week on Instagram for a Friday night dinner with your latest Tinder match. Dressing down for dates is the new norm from dating coaches to give realistic expectations of who you are versus what might be wrongfully perceived if you are dressed to the nines like you’re attending a red carpet appearance.

Imagine you spent all day getting dolled up or well-groomed, and the next time you see your date, you’re in sweats, and they are disappointed. The first time they see you dressed up should be after you have had a chance to get to know each other are comfortable just being yourselves. In previous decades women were encouraged to wear lipstick even when out jogging, and men were encouraged to wear suits, so what caused the shift?

Social media expectations have likely directly contributed to this, with users trying to keep up with the glamourous lifestyles that models and celebrities promote, but that isn’t the reality when there are no cameras. Millennials and Gen Zs are tired of the notion that you have to dress a certain way or look a certain way to be desirable. Once the pandemic started, three in five women reported feeling more comfortable wearing less makeup. The new trend lets dates know this is me. If you don’t like it, leave, but this is who I am. Men should welcome this trend as women aren’t trying to deceive them by faking an attractive exterior with makeup. They want to present themselves in raw form.

Since the pandemic started, there is no denying that apps, online dating and matchmaking services have taken control. First dates didn’t mean going out to intimate experiences like dinners or a walk on the beach. They meant going on a video chat to avoid risking their well-being. Many adults decided that getting dressed up just for a video call wasn’t true to their identity. It felt forced and fake. The pressure one faces from public judgment was removed because they were in the comfort of their own homes, which allowed them to be more vulnerable.

Now that in-person first dates are resuming; dating experts say continue to dress down. Try a no-makeup and no-filter image to present your true self to others, even when it comes to your dating profile. Also, why waste a ton of money to look a certain way when the date could go south anyways. You can’t control the outcome of the date, but you can try to resolve some of your appearance suppressed-jitters.

Being casual will make you feel more relaxed, allowing you to open up better and connect without being so nervous. Weed out the wrong dates who care more about what’s on the outside than the inside. Would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who only thinks you’re attractive when you’re dressed up and have makeup on? The likely answer is no, so nip that perception in the bud. 

Dressing casual is just the start of being authentic on a first date. Being true to yourself and your beliefs means resisting the urge to lie, even if it’s a white lie. Your date will appreciate your honesty which sets the foundation for your relationship should it advance. You don’t have to agree with every opinion your date has. You are not obligated to agree on every topic. It’s not healthy. Pursuing a soul mate with the perception that you must agree on everything sets yourself up for failure. 

In the end, your personality is what should matter always because looks and clothing are merely superficial.