Meghan Markle offered a little insight into the gendered reaction she faced after she and Prince Harry announced their engagement in 2017. On her Spotify podcast, “Archetypes,” the Duchess of Sussex told guest Mindy Kaling, “Everyone was just like, ‘Oh, my God, you’re so lucky he chose you.”

She continued before praising Harry, whom she married in 2018, “And at a certain point, after you hear it a million times over, you’re like, ‘Well, I chose him, too!’” However, the Duchess said she’s thankful she has a partner fighting that narrative, saying he was lucky because she chose him.

Meghan added, “But it is gendered, and it’s archetyped, and it’s stereotyped that ‘you’re so lucky,’ And it just feeds into this idea that you’re waiting for someone to tell you that you’re good enough, as opposed to knowing that you’re good enough on your own.”

The interview, which also touches on Kaling’s “joys, challenges, and stigmas of her life as a single, unmarried woman” and “her decision to start a family on her own,” kicked off with Meghan describing a project she was given on marriage at her private Catholic school.

Loved sitting down with Meghan on her new podcast, #Archetypes. Listen now, only on @Spotify. #DontBelieveTheType https://t.co/YzZu0hJpqw pic.twitter.com/f54OgClv3J

— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) September 6, 2022

The Duchess of Sussex said that when she was only 14, she planned her wedding as part of an assignment at her all-female school. The royal recalled details about her then-dream wedding, saying that she wanted it to be at the Bel-Air Hotel and to wear a dress that “was strapless and poofy” (not at all what she chose for her second royal wedding a few years ago).

“What strikes me now, from my 40-something vantage point, is the fact that this project was even graded at all,” she said. “The fact that this project even existed! At no point could you say, ‘Nope, my dream for the future is to be single.’” Meghan added, “The message, even at my feminist all-girls school, was as traditional as it gets.”

While discussing Kaling’s life as a single, unmarried woman, Kaling said, “Growing up, I used to write in journals like, ‘I’m going to be married to a guy named Josh, and we’re going to have five children, and I’m going to start having kids when I’m 24. But 24 came and went. No Josh, no marriage, no four kids.”

For years, people have speculated about Kaling’s relationship status. Most recently, Kaling had to respond to rumors that her “Office” co-star B.J. Novak is the father of her children. And while she’s not necessarily bothered by the rumors, Kaling said she understands that there is an unfair assumption that every woman needs a man. Women are conditioned from childhood to believe they need a man and marriage to be complete. However, a woman can live a fulfilling life without a man or children.

This episode marked Meghan’s third episode out of 12 from her new series, which is part of a significant deal between Spotify and Archewell Audio. So far, the duchess has interviewed her friend Serena Williams and singer Mariah Carey.