Actor Rob Lowe, 59, joined Bruce Bozzi on the “Table for Two” podcast, where he gushed about his wife, Sheryl Berkoff, 61, and their nearly 32-year-long marriage. The star started by admitting that marriage is difficult. “It is not just Hollywood, it’s everywhere. Marriage is hard… And will be hard,” he admitted. Despite admitting difficulties in marriage, Lowe also shared that there are some key things that have made his marriage to Berkoff work. “It’s all about who you choose,” he said. “Sheryl was and is my best friend. So, if you marry for anything other than the fact that it’s your best friend, you’re at a disadvantage from the jump. ‘Cause that will sustain when the other stuff ebbs and flows.” 

Science agrees with Lowe. A paper published in 2015 by the National Bureau of Economic Research found that marrying a “best friend” was a key helper in long-term happiness. The study found that “well-being effects of marriage are about twice as large for those whose spouse is also their best friend.” Lowe and Berkhoff, who works as a makeup artist, initially met in 1983 on a blind date. While they didn’t start a relationship, they were reunited in 1990 while working on the set of Lowe’s film Bad Influence. In an interview with Entertainment Tonight, Lowe credited Berkhoff for inspiring him to get sober. “She may have saved my life, really. I mean, she met me when I was at the end of my ‘80s run of wild boy craziness, and she was worth changing my life for,” he said. The two tied the knot in the summer of 1991 and have two sons, Matthew, 29, and John Owen, 28. 

Lowe said that forgiveness was another key to making their marriage work. He said that part of marriage is “really cognizant of what hill you’re willing to die on.” “I think the minute things go south for whatever reason it could be… many, many, many reasons, I think people can go, ‘Oh, I knew it. This, this is bad. This is a mistake. That marriages don’t work.’ Everybody has those dark periods,” he added. But he said, “You just can’t bail.” “’Cause eventually, it’ll turn around if you’re with the right person,” he said. The Gottman Institute has found that forgiveness is crucial to a marriage as it “is one way of letting go so that you can heal and move on with your life.”

Of course, Lowe admitted that physical “heat” helps a lot too. “If you don’t have the heat… and that’s a chemical thing. That’s like I still have it with Sheryl.… You got to keep the heat.” He admitted that attraction isn’t always guaranteed, either. “There are days, there are times when you’re just like ‘Uhhh,’ and then all of a sudden, you’re just wild for somebody. It’s one of the great human mysteries.”