According to a new study from Communio, a national nonprofit organization, most single, never married Christian women and men aren’t abstaining from sex. In the study titled “Nationwide Study on Faith and Relationships,” Communio questioned almost 19,000 Sunday church attendees from Catholic, Protestant, and Evangelical churches.
Author JP DeGance wrote, “Despite scriptural teaching to the contrary, research has shown that most never-married Christian men and women are not living lives of sexual chastity. This engagement in sexual relationships outside of marriage coincides with and likely fuels delays and declines in marriage.”
DeGance is also the co-author of “Endgame: The Church’s Strategic Move to Save Faith and Family in America.” He continued, “The delay in marriage represents what some scholars have called the shift from a cornerstone view of marriage to the view of marriage as a capstone institution.”
The president and founder of Communio, DeGance, said single Christians had been influenced by secular society and a model that believes marriage is for those who have reached a preset level of personal and financial achievement. DeGance said, “Individuals who pursue the capstone model often have a longer list of requirements before selecting an ideal ‘soulmate.’ Sex before marriage is common in this model.”
He continued, “While some celebrate this shift, the explosive and societally dangerous levels of loneliness among the never-married shows one major defect in capstone marriage,” calling the shift a “loneliness epidemic.”
He said, “To effectively evangelize today, we must address the declining number of marriages, poor marital health and improve the effectiveness of fathers in those marriages.” Nationwide, other churches want to change their views on sex and marriage among Christians. For example, megachurch pastor Jamal Bryant of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Georgia said the church needs a “new gospel for grownups.”
The 51-year-old pastor, who’s a single divorced father, said, “I had a Zoom with all of my singles just this week. For me to tell a 16-year-old to be celibate is one thing, a 37-year-old who is used to getting some sex, I need a different kind of gospel.”
While Christians are sadly not abstaining from sex before marriage, we should consider secular society has an effect on never-married Christians and think of the best ways to shift their focus back to God. Perhaps churches should have more events catered toward singles so they know that being single is okay, but having sex before marriage isn’t.