A New York doctor detailed the dreadful moment he watched his 27-year-old wife die days after she gave birth to their second child and his struggle to overcome the crushing grief she left in her absence. Dr. Jared Wilson told Fox News Digital, “I feel like I’m waiting to take a breath, come up for air, and have this weight lifted. It never comes.”

He said of his wife, Caitlyn Wilson, who died on Dec. 22, “She will forever be in my heart and in the hearts of our sons. They will know their incredible mother gave everything for them.” Wilson, an anesthesiologist resident in Buffalo, said the couple was delighted to welcome their son Gabriel into the world. They already had a 1-year-old son, Lincoln. The couple married in their home state of Utah on New Year’s Eve and were nearing their third wedding anniversary. Their lives were as close to perfect as they had imagined.

Dr. Wilson said, “I had a dream job. Two months before [her death], we had a picnic on the grass eating strawberries with our toddler, and we just felt like we had it made. We had everything we ever wanted and were busy and working hard. We were exactly where we wanted to be.” Sadly, that joy would soon turn into anguish. Wilson took his wife to the hospital where he works on Dec. 12 for a scheduled induction. When the doctor broke her water, Gabriel changed his position in her uterus, compressing her umbilical cord and creating a potentially fatal situation for the unborn baby.

Caitlyn was rushed into the operating room for an emergency C-section. The anesthesia caused her to bring up fluids, which she inhaled into her lungs, causing inflammation and difficulty breathing. On Dec. 21, Wilson’s birthday, Caitlyn was so exhausted she asked to be put on a ventilator that could breathe for her as she slept. Twelve hours later, her heart stopped, and she had to be resuscitated. Doctors discovered two blood clots in her legs and one in her heart.

As he fought back tears, Dr. Wilson recalled, “One by one over the next 12 hours, we started seeing signs of severe organ failure. Everything started to slide.” He and Caitlyn’s father were outside the ICU in a conference room when a nurse came running in and said she had coded again. A team of doctors and specialists were in her room, shouting orders and performing chest compressions. It was clear to Jared that she was already gone.

Dr. Wilson said, “I knew she had fought harder than anything she could have imagined, and I knew it was time.” That evening, Wilson went home to his sons. He said, “After she passed, I didn’t really want to celebrate Christmas. The morning of, I realized she would have wanted the boys to still have that and feel that love from her.” On Christmas Eve, he put the boys’ pajamas on and watched them open presents their mother had carefully wrapped for them the next morning.

He recalled, “I held them in my arms and cried a lot.” Nine months later, their home is filled with constant reminders of Caitlyn. Every year, he gave her roses on their wedding anniversary. He had already ordered them before her death, and, in keeping with their tradition, he wrote tributes on the stems of three roses, representing the number of years they’d been married.

Although the most painful period of his life will forever be tied to Christmas, he plans to turn the holiday into a time for their family to honor Caitlyn. He said, “Cait had the most giving, charitable heart.” This year, for the 12 days before Christmas, their families are coming up with kind acts they can perform to commemorate her. A GoFundMe page for the family has currently raised more than $200,000.