Bible covers are purchased almost exclusively by Christian women aged 18 – 94. They usually have a tranquil scene or a Bible verse sewn on them. Little girls often receive Bible covers as Christmas and baptism gifts. In the south they are frequently quilted.

There is also a market, however small, for men’s Bible covers. These are made out of something rugged like leather, polartech, or burlap. You will never catch a Christian guy carrying his by the handle because that’s too gay.

Some Bible covers have covers of Christian culture books printed onto them which lends mystery to what kind of book is actually inside. Is that a Bible in there or is it the book whose cover is, um, on the cover? But rest assured it’s always a Bible. Maybe the formula or inspirational quote on the Bible cover is just there to give its owner a sense of certainty and purpose (see #32).