Christian culture is historically known for leaving a gospel tract when they tip in restaurants. Oftentimes they leave a tract along with actual money, but in severe cases they’ll leave only the tract.

Every Sunday around noon, waiters and waitresses throughout the Bible belt and other densely churched areas of North America brace themselves for the church crowd* to roll in. In a flurry of khaki and hairspray, they become visibly nervous if presented with a wine list and they loudly discuss which of them will pray over the food. Once they leave, heartily clapping each other on the back and taking an awful long time to exit, their server often finds with the tip a pamphlet that outlines the presumptuously-titled four spiritual laws.

Maybe Christian culture’s logic is: what better way to care for the immediate physical needs of others as mandated by Jesus? How about giving them some fire insurance! Insurance from the fires of hell, that is.

[Mr. Pink has got at least one thing in common with Christian culture.]

*Church crowd is the term for the large influx of people coming fresh from a Sunday morning church service and into restaurants. There is an unwritten rule that they must go out for lunch post-church. The chain restaurants they favor are Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Cracker Barrel and Chili’s.