Christian culture likes to display their families in stick-figure effigy on their vans and SUVs. They would like for you to know how many children they have, their approximate ages, sports interests and gender. When you see these stickers you can be reasonably assured this family identifies themselves as evangelical. You can be assured they do if the sticker has a scripture reference on it.

Some of these stickers even have each child’s name on them. Good thinking! And don’t forget the pets. They’d be gutted if you left them out. In an impressive lack of guile, the proponents of these stickers don’t think they’re any kind of invitation for home invasion. What better way to alert paroled pedophiles to your exact number of children? What’s better, they can just follow you home.

A fun variation on these stickers is the Disney version. From these you may reasonably infer that this family is affluent enough to go to Disney (Land or World) regularly. Those stickers may as well say “Follow this car and case our house, we have more money than we have sense.”