Your children need to know that you will always love them, even when they don’t do everything exactly as you hope they will.

Unconditional love doesn’t mean that you accept naughty or immoral behavior, but that, even in the midst of correction and discipline, they remain secure in the fact that your love is constant.

Model God’s love to them.  He always loves, always forgives and assures us that when discipline is needed, it is because we are his kids.

The understanding that a child gains of how God’s love works is most often shaped by how they are treated by their fathers.  A stern, angry, unforgiving dad often means that the child’s view of God is as a stern, angry and unforgiving.  A dad who is involved, interested and who grieves when discipline is required will influence his child to view God with the same characteristics.

One of the most difficult actions to learn is forgiveness.  Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget all about the offense–it rather means you choose not to bring it up again once it has been addressed, consequences given and remorse shown.  Forgiveness means you don’t bring up all of the past transgressions every time your child does something wrong.

Our children, in spite of–or maybe because of–our best efforts are probably not going to live up to exactly what we hoped and planned for them in every aspect of their lives.  Loving unconditionally means accepting your child, even if you are disappointed by a life choice he or she has made.

It’s even possible to extend that love to them if their choices mean you can’t have much contact with them.  An example would be a teen who gets hooked on drugs and can no longer  live in your home because of the danger he poses to the rest of the family.  If you continue to love him, even as you can no longer support him, he will know that steadfast love is there, waiting to accept and support him when he’s ready to seek help.

The Biblical reference for this is the story Jesus told of the prodigal son, who rejected his father and family, took his inheritance and squandered it in a faraway land.  When he finally had spent all he had and was reduced to being so hungry that he considered eating the slop he was feeding the pigs, he decided to return home in disgrace.

His father, who had looked for him every day, saw him coming from a distance and ran to meet him, embraced him, took him back into the house, cleaned him up and threw him a huge feast to celebrate.

Unconditional love is like that…it’s constant, abiding, deeply grounded in who your child is, not what he does.

Always make sure your children know that no matter what, you love them.