One of the many things that I have learned in my work with individuals that are working through recovery is that reaching out for help is often one of the most difficult steps to take. In fact often as I recount in the scenarios in “The Law of Sobriety” the very people that the person reaches out to are the ones that are most damaging to the success of the recovery.

Talking about the issues around an addiction requires a person that is able to listen, provide the information and support that you need and avoid creating more distress, worry or distraction. A good way to evaluate if the person you plan to talk to is going to help or hinder your recover starts with assessing their ability to help you.

Good starting points to choose a confidant through your recovery include thinking honestly about the person in relation to the four issues listed below.

1. 1.   Does he/she live a sober lifestyle?

While it may be difficult to talk to a person that is or always has been sober about addiction it is not helpful to talk to a current addict about sobriety. Many people in recovery find that a mentor or coach that has experience with addiction recovery on a personal or professional level is the most effective individual to help them on their journey.

1. 2.   Is the person authentic?

In other words, is the person a real person or are they someone that acts one way and does something else. This has to be true and genuine and you don’t need people that are misrepresenting a situation at this time in your life.

1. 3.   Are you comfortable with the person?

They may be the best coach or mentor but if you aren’t comfortable talking with them it is not going to work for you. Find someone you trust and that you know will respect you and the lifestyle change you are committed to making.

1. 4.   Can they keep your information confidential?

You don’t want to talk to someone that is going to spread your personal information to others in the community, your family or your friends. A coach or addiction therapist or counselor is more likely to understand confidentiality than a person that is not trained and does not understand the responsibly they have to keep your information private.