I took the children to the Royal Ontario Museum the other day. I told Emilia that we were going to see the dinosaurs, but really, we were going because I wanted to see the Dead Sea Scrolls and the scroll remnants of the Ten Commandments.

Emilia wasn’t happy when we arrived and I told her that we’d see the dinosaurs after Mommy saw the Ten Commandments scroll.

Emilia: What are the DEMANDMENTS? And why are there TEN? Do we have to see ALL OF THEM?

Me: COMMANDments.They’re rules that God gave to people a long, long time ago.

Emilia: What kind of rules?

Me: Well, like, that we shouldn’t lie, and we shouldn’t take other peoples’ things…

Emilia: But I KNOW those already.

Me: You know them because they’re very old rules, and very important.

Emilia: Older than you?

Me: Much older than me.

Emilia: Older than the dinosaurs?

Me: Um, well, no…

Emilia: Then what were the dinosaurs’ rules?

Me: Um…

Emilia: Did God give them rules, too?

Me: Um…

Emilia: Because didn’t the dinosaurs need rules? Didn’t God want them to have rules? Did the dinosaurs all LIE AND STEAL? BARNEY DOESN’T LIE AND STEAL. DOES GOD KNOW BARNEY?

Me: Um…

Emilia: I think that we need to go talk to the dinosaurs first, Mommy. For some ANSWERS. THEN we can see those demandments.

The fossilized Tyrannosaurus had no answers, sadly. We’re still waiting to hear from Barney, but given his obvious godlessness, I’m not holding my breath.