What happens when you try to really explain to a precocious, dinosaur-obsessed three-year old about Moses and the Ten Commandments:

Emilia: Moses was this man and God gave him the Demandments on some rocks?

Me: Stone tablets, which are like rocks, only they look like paper, sort of.

Emilia: Paper rocks?

Me: Well…

Emilia: Did God send them in the mail?

Me: No, he sent them down from the sky.

Emilia: Where he lives.

Me: Basically.

Emilia: Did he throw them?

Me: Well, not really…

Emilia: How did he get them down?

Me: He, um, reached…

Emilia: Does he have really long arms?

Me: No…

Emilia: Did he drop them?

Me: Well…

Emilia: Was it like when the rock came out of the sky and killed the dinosaurs?

Me: Well, no…

Emilia: Maybe God killed the dinosaurs!

Me: Well…

Emilia: WITH HIS ROCKS.

Me: Well…

Emilia: Does Barney know about this?

Ten bucks says Barney doesn’t.