Their Bad Mother

Ah, the feets… A perfectly executed Fourth Position (in grand plié, not shown) … the feets, the feets. The lovely, lovely oversized feets. What more can be said of them, really, other than that they are kissable, munchable, and adorable and that there is much of them. Well, it’s less feet than it is toes.…

We have, my friends, crossed the Rubicon. My determination to have a baby-friendly home that was nonetheless free of all that is garish and plastic has received its final blow. Behold, the Exersaucer: Yeah, okay, she’s a LITTLE bit challenged in the hair area… BUT. STILL. CUTEST. It doesn’t get any more garish or plastic…

The swaddle gods, they are laughing. Oh, how they laugh. I have endeavoured to overcome; I have given up; I have endeavoured again. I have given up again. I have embraced the swaddle, I have cursed the swaddle, and I have embraced the swaddle again. I have foresworn the swaddle; I have crept back, meekly,…

To yesterday’s post. Just cuz, well, there’s always more to say. And today I don’t really have anything new to say. So, POSTSCRIPT… Yesterday’s booby blog can be taken as Exhibit A, solid evidence that motherhood turns perfectly respectable thinking women into effluent-obsessed, body-baring Creatures of the Earth. Prior to pregnancy and childbirth, I would…

Boob discovery #1: Baby is getting bored of the boobies. Not the lovely meals that issue forth from the boobies, which she insists upon having at the ready, but the booby itself. Once upon a time (two weeks ago) she couldn’t be pried away once her face was planted therein; now, well, now there are…

It has now been fully six days since I last set foot in the outside world. This whole hunkered-down-with-the-sick thing is starting to wear a little thin. I’m actually feeling a little better, thank you very much, which is sort of surprising given the limited availability of medication and rest. But Baby picked up the…

So, this whole new motherhood thing is, like, really hard. I know that it’s extra-difficult right now because of the whole head cold thing. Which, by the way, I passed on to Baby, even though a) I disinfected my germy self and everything I touched including Baby every two minutes, and b) isn’t breastfeeding supposed…

Because ruminating about swaddling is all that I’m capable of during this dark dark time that is THE HEAD COLD. So, the swaddle update: When last I swaddle-ranted, I swore to just resign myself to the swaddle and shut up about it. And hey, I’ve kept those promises. Mostly. We are still resigned to the…

I couldn’t let the day go by without putting out my Valentine to the world: Because, OMG, she is the personification of love. Sweeter than any box o’ chocolates (which, if anyone is taking notes: I wouldn’t say no to chocolate) and munchier than any chocolate chip cookie (of which I have eaten 12 today.…

Last week, I sucked mucus out of Baby’s nose. You heard me right. Sucked it right out. No, I did not do this for fun. Anybody out there that knows me knows that I am the most prissy girl EVER and that I am BEYOND squeamish about absolutely everything and that I can be made…

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