Mid Life Crisis: What is it? Is it inevitable? Is it even a real phenomenon? Or is it an invention of the media — that is, corporate advertising trying to sell us things we don’t need? (Not only do we not need these cosmetic and quasi-medical accoutrements, they are downright insulting and sometimes even dangerous.) 

I have been inundated lately by articles, poems, and stories about the so-called “Midlife Crisis.” Clearly it is a subject very much on the minds of many, many women. The writings that I have been sharing with you cover the gamut of opinions, ideas, and suggestions about coping with a Midlife Crisis, ours or someone else’s. I offer them up to you to for your interest and edification.

As always, I invite you to send me your stories — experiences, advice, and inspiration to share with our community of Midlife Queens.

Midlife Crisis or Midlife Consciousness? You choose!

xxQueen Mama Donna

 

Some time ago, I put this question on Face Book:

Q. Men are said to have affairs and sports cars when they freak out in midlife. What do women do during their midlife crisis? What symptoms do women express when they are experiencing a midlife crisis?

A. Women can’t have affairs and drive a sports car?

A. Sit on husband’s midlife crisis car’s hood.

A. Have him start car, rev a couple times. Rev less if V8 with burly exhaust, a little more for the v10s and v6s, and if his midlife crisis car has a 4 cylinder — get a new husband.

A. I had an affair with a sports car.

A. Well I just made an appointment to get liposuction. you tell me.

A. I think we buy ourselves a lot of jewelry. That is my plan, anyway. No, change that…not a lot of jewelry, just expensive jewelry.

A. I sleep with guys fresh out of college, young enough to be my son!

A. Women change careers and start dying our hair.

A. I may do sumthing drastic with mah hairs.

A. Women go on mad buying\spending sprees… oh wait… you do that your whole life… whoops!

A. Women suddenly develop an interest in going to the gym and getting a personal trainer.

A. You get a trainer and start running marathons.

A. Many of us decide to grow mustaches.

A. And get fat.

A. They get the fat sucked out of them.

A. Then get it pumped into their lips?

A. Or their boobs.

A. I’m getting the fat sucked out and they can throw it away.

A. Blame their children for their stretch marks?

A. Douch often.

A. Drink martinis.

A. Women have affairs I think.

A. Women have affairs.

A. They get a divorce.

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.