Mid Life Crisis: What is it? Is it inevitable? Is it even a real phenomenon? Or is it an invention of the media — that is, corporate advertising trying to sell us things we don’t need? (Not only do we not need these cosmetic and quasi-medical accoutrements, they are downright insulting and sometimes even dangerous.)

I have been inundated lately by articles, poems, and stories about the so-called “Midlife Crisis.” Clearly it is a subject very much on the minds of many, many women. The writings that I have been sharing with you cover the gamut of opinions, ideas, and suggestions about coping with a Midlife Crisis, ours or someone else’s. I offer them up to you to for your interest and edification.

As always, I invite you to send me your stories — experiences, advice, and inspiration to share with our community of Midlife Queens. And special thanks to all oof you who have shared their ideas, research, and creativity with us.

Midlife Crisis or Midlife Consciousness? You choose!

xxQueen Mama Donna

Female Midlife Crisis or Midlife Alarm Call? –Part 2

By Gill Warren, England

What are the symptoms of Female Midlife Crisis?

Do you:

Feel overwhelmed with life and everything you have to do?

Feel exhausted or depressed, or resigned and bored?

Question the purpose of your life and what you want to do with it?

Feel angry and irritable with injustices?

Worry you have so little time left and you haven’t really done what you want to do in life?

Overeat, drink too much or pursue other compulsive behaviours?

Completely change your look and lifestyle?

Start an affair with someone much younger than you?

Feel a drop in libido and worry about the changes in your body (especially if your children are really beginning to blossom sexually)?

Welcome… you are probably facing your midlife crisis!

Fortunately, we live in times of opportunity (in the first world any way).

We can use the midlife crisis to reevaluate our lives for the better and really enter a time a glorious midlife.

7 Tips to Survive Female Midlife Crisis and Thrive

• Exercise regularly by doing something you enjoy doing so that it doesn’t feel a chore. Exercise not only helps us to look better we actually feel more energised afterwards. I know friends who have taken up the following in midlife: ballroom dancing, pole dancing, tantric yoga, tai chi, running, Nordic walking, Latin dancing and they love it and have met new and interesting people through it.

• Write a list of 50 things you want to do be or have before you die. I have to say that I have done this exercise on an occasional basis since my early twenties and I have noticed a shift. Initially the list was about things I wanted to own, in my thirties the list mainly comprised experiences I wanted to do and more recently the list is much more about who I am and who I want to be.

• Spend time and effort going for the look that you want, experiment with a different wardrobe or hairstyle and adopt one that makes you feel more glamorous and good about yourself.

• Bored in your relationship? Go away for romantic weekends, or instead of anticipating a certain answer and response, really listen to what they have to say and what they want to do. Go out and do different things together. Be more loving and caring. Be clear about your needs and the support that you want, even if that includes more self-determination and be more assertive about what works for you.

• Be creative. Learn the piano or paint or do sculpture or go on a cookery course. The key with this is to find a new outlet for you where you feel you lose all sense of place and time and are absorbed and challenged so that you feel you are expanding yourself and your horizons.

• Check in with your friends. Discuss with them what you are facing… they may be feeling the same. There are also support groups where you can listen to and support each other.

• Reinvent a different possibility for your life that is empowering and engaging and then take actions that are consistent with that new possibility.

If you feel you are facing a midlife crisis, rather than dread it, use it as an alarm call to really reassess and create the glorious midlife you desire.

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

 The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.