A prevalent archetype of the assertive midlife woman in popular culture is the Menopausal Maniac.

The following was sent to me by a man friend. Hmmm.

Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have. I’ve used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better!

In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was,  and generally started becoming  a pain in the neck.  One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with  his blood on my new white blouse as well!

I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief!

Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go, I have to write to the Hefty Bag people.

A little laugh to start the week!

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.