June is traditionally the month for weddings and it is also now celebrated as Gay Pride month. Love is in the air all around. This is a juicy time of making whoopy.

But while June is the jolly season for Brides and Grooms, Brides and Brides and Grooms and Grooms, it is important to remember that the most primary and important love is that of Self Love. All relationships are built on the respect, esteem and affection that we have for our self.

Believe in Yourself! – Part 1

By Cheryl Saban, PH.D.

Are you one of your biggest fans? Do you think you’re capable and worthy? Would you pick yourself to be on your team? If you answered “no” to any of the above questions, you could use an attitude change and a healthful infusion of personal esteem.

Self-esteem is described as confidence in one’s own worth or abilities, and pertains to a personal appraisal of ourselves. Yet, unfortunately, we often make this evaluation based on cues we receive from society. In other words, we look to others to establish who we are, how we should behave, and how we’re valued, even though this societal reflection won’t be an accurate indicator of what you’re made of.

Trying to measure up to a dominant mindset, antiquated cultural rules, or stigmatizing stereotypes that don’t serve you well isn’t the best plan. Using such subjective measuring devices may also explain why you don’t always feel like a good fit. Bottom line, try not to rely totally on the outside world to validate you. A better option is to equalize the playing field by believing in, and validating yourself.

By the way, if you’re concerned about spending too much time and effort on numero uno, try remembering that you can’t be of great help to others if you don’t care much about yourself. Believing in yourself doesn’t mean you’re conceited, overly self-centered, or narcissistic. It’s simply part of an overall self-care strategy for wellness and contentment. It means that you recognize the true who of you – your core being, the special present of your presence – in other words, your innate worth.

Tomorrow Believe in Yourself! Part 2

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Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity.

Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™: http://www.donnahenes.net/queen/consult.shtml

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The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.