When I was pregnant with William, people often remarked, “It
will be so good for Penny to have a sibling.” Even though they meant well, I
always felt indignant and replied, “It will be so good for this baby to have
Penny.”

And as Penny and William grow up together, again and again I
find myself marveling at the “goodness” of their relationships. Don’t get me
wrong–every day includes grabbing and tears and sometimes pushing or banging
one another on the head. Most days include Penny assuming her stern parent
role: “No William! You may NOT take my book, or toy, or baby, away from me!” Some days also include (like this morning) William’s antics: “William take off diaper, go tinkle on pillow!” But most days also include portraits of two little people who love each other a
lot.

There was, for instance, the afternoon when I decided to
make a smoothie. 

“Loud?” William asked.

“Medium loud,” Penny told him. “I will hold your hand.”

They backed away from the blender together, and when the
noise began, William’s eyes got wide, but they didn’t spill over. Penny hugged him.
I turned it off and she said, “See, William, I will keep you safe.” 

Or there was the time we went outside and William felt nervous about a dog barking. Penny explained, “You can say, Go away dog. I don’t like your barking!”

Or the time that Penny slipped on a wet floor and William ran in from the next room to give her a hug. “Feel better?”

I’ve often heard people say that they are worried about the
impact it will have on a child to have a sibling with a disability. In
particular, they’re worried that the typical child will be burdened or
restricted as a result of their sibling, or that they’ll have to participate in
their care as an adult. From what I can tell, it’s true that siblings of
children with disabilities have greater responsibilities. And from what I can
tell, it’s worth it.

There may come a day when it is William’s job to keep Penny
safe. I’m confident (at least, once we make it through middle school), that he
will do so with gratitude and with love. It is so good for them to have each
other.