Penny was sitting on the potty. “Where’s the new shirsh?”
she asked.

I wrinkled my forehead. “The new shirt?”

She shook her head, with a little smile. “No. The new
shirsh.”

“Skirt?”

This time, a grin. “No, Mom!” she said, in a tone of false
exasperation. “The new shirsh!” She
said the word slowly, with emphasis.

“Oh!” I said. “The new church!”

She was so proud of me.

For the past few years, as Penny has slowly learned to talk,
as she transitioned from sign language to spoken words to two-word utterances
to phrases to whole sentences, she has been patient with us. And when we don’t
understand, she somehow sees it as our loss. She tends to shake
her head with a knowing smile, as if to say, “If only you had the ears to hear
what wonderful words I’m saying. Don’t worry. You’ll understand some day.”

A few weeks ago, Peter and I met with a school social worker
and we were describing the dynamic between Penny and William. I said, “Penny
has more language concepts than William does, but it’s easier for his mouth to
talk.”

She said, “Yes, and Penny will be frustrated soon because
William will be able to say so much more than her. You’ll have to deal with her
being mad about that.”

Needless to say, my shoulders tensed up a bit after that
comment. There was an assumption about her abilities: that William would “surpass”
his sister, which may or may not be true. There was an assumption about her
character: that when this possibility happened, she would react with anger and
frustration and discouragement. All this, and she had never met our daughter.

I didn’t say anything in response. It didn’t seem worth it. Penny
has worked really hard to be able to speak. And she generally does so with a
gentle, patient spirit. So I tried to emulate our daughter and shrug
my shoulders with a smile, thinking about the social worker–Don’t worry. You’ll understand someday.

P.S. As a caveat to this (and other recent) cute and
endearing stories about our family, let me direct you to a post from a few
months back that states a truth that continues: We are NOT a perfect family!