Here are some of the questions it raises for me:

Please note (and this is an amendment to my original post, which obviously caused confusion): Andrew Sullivan, a Catholic gay man with a lifelong partner, is the one who defined marriage in the “ideal” terms I outline below. He writes as someone who has remained within the Catholic church even though he knows that his identity as a gay man is challenged by that same institution. 

Please also note that when we use the term “marriage,” we use it in two distinct ways. One, as a definition of a set of legal rights granted to (in our culture) a man and a woman. Two, as a religious term that designates a covenant before God. These two thoughts are interrelated, but they aren’t identical. So when I make reference to Sullivan’s sense of “ideal” marriage, he means that from a Christian perspective (I think) and not a legal one. Similarly, the reason morality and religion come into these questions are because of the Christian definition of marriage. I’m trying to sort out if there is any legal reason to deny gay couples the same rights as heterosexual couples. After that, I’m trying to sort out how the church should respond. So, again, my questions:

If, as Sullivan writes, there is an “ideal” for marriage (which includes bearing children), and gay couples fall outside of that ideal (as do couples who don’t bear children, or couples who divorce, or couples who fall into any other number of categories), should that ideal trump the experience and emotions of people in gay relationships?