Accident: [ak-si-duhnt]  -noun

1. an undesirable or unfortunate happening that occurs
unintentionally and usually results in harm, injury, damage, or loss; casualty;
mishap: automobile accidents.

2. Law. such a happening resulting
in injury that is in no way the fault of the injured person for which
compensation or indemnity is legally sought.

3. any event that happens unexpectedly, without a deliberate plan
or cause.

4. chance; fortune; luck: I was there by accident.

5. a fortuitous circumstance, quality, or characteristic: an
accident of birth.

A few weeks back, I wrote on Motherlode about our decisions
not to screen the baby I’m carrying for Down syndrome. I also wrote about what
is, and what isn’t, hard about having a child with Down syndrome. Hundreds of
comments came in, both in support of our decisions and with skepticism or even
disdain of the path our family has taken.

I was prepared for many of the responses. But one of the
themes that emerged surprised me. People who wanted to defend the existence of
children with disabilities time and again compared the birth of a child with
Down syndrome to an older child in a car accident. The analogy was meant to support our decisions. Just as we care for the
children and adults among us after tragedy occurs, be that through the loss of
physical or mental function, so too we should care for the infants in our
midst.

And yet something about the comparison struck me as off. Was
it really as if Penny had been hit by a car when that extra chromosome became a
part of her genetic material, present in every cell of her body?

Biologically speaking, Down syndrome is an accident. When
sperm and egg meet, they are meant to split down conventional lines and each
offer 23 chromosomes. By this reasoning, twins are equally accidental. Here, both Down
syndrome and twins are accidents according to definition number three: “any
event that happens unexpectedly, without a deliberate plan or cause.”

But when we talk about car accidents, we generally intend
definition number one: “an undesirable or unfortunate happening that occurs
unintentionally and usually results in harm, injury, damage, or loss.” It’s
with this definition that I start to wonder. I can’t say that Penny’s
conception was undesirable or unfortunate. Nor could I say that it has resulted
in harm, injury, damage or loss. As I’ve written many times over, hers is a
life of fullness, joy, and hope. So I fall back to a place I’ve been before, in an attempt to reconcile the hardships and real trials that come with life with a disability and simultaneous joy and goodness of that life. And it makes me think that all of our lives are intentional ones. Gifts. 

(In honor of Down syndrome Awareness Month, I’m going to run a weekly reflection on a topic or question related to Down syndrome. Check back in next Wednesday morning for another post on a related topic.)