In advance of my blogalogue with Rod Dreher, I want to get something off my chest.  I will write about this once and only once.  That is, this conversation about same sex marriage is not about me.  I am heterosexual, as is Rod, which, as Bob C. commented on my last post, is a bit strange.

And yet, as is so often the case, straight white men end up debating and, unfortunately, deciding the role of minority groups (or, in the case of women’s suffrage, a majority group) in society.  This, of course, is part of the inequity of the system.

But this blogalogue is about me insofar as the opinions that I will make public here for the first time will very likely affect my ability to provide for my family.  It is almost assured that I will be considered for fewer speaking engagements as a result of these posts.  I may be disinvited from events at which I’m already contracted to speak.  I may be asked to stop writing in a publication or two.  Less of my books may sell; some bookstores may stop stocking my titles.

I write all this not to invoke your sympathy.  No one is making me take a public position on this issue.  And, of course, what ever recriminations I encounter as a result of my opinions is minute compared to the discrimination faced by my GLBT brothers and sisters, not just regarding their ability to marry, but in virtually every corner of their cultural experience.

Instead, I write all of this to acknowledge that many of my friends and collegues, though they may agree with my position on same sex marriage, are not yet ready to go public with their opinions.  I am having lots of offline conversations with friends and collegues whom I respect immensely, and they are sharpening my thinking.  This may be the role for them at this time.  I cast no judgment on them for not going public with their opinions (yet), regardless of which side they’re on (and, as I will write soon, I don’t really think this is a black-and-white issue).  And I hope that you, in spite of how strongly you feel on this issue, will also have understanding about why some relatively public figures cannot make their feelings known publicly.

A word of caution: Let your comments be words of civility and respect, lest they be removed.