Long piece on the impact of motherhood on women from a physical and mental health aspect

I don’t react reflexively against pieces like this, because what I do react reflexively against are mythical concepts of motherhood that romanticize it and hold up an ideal that not all mothers are interested in or capable of fulfilling. There are all kinds of styles of mothering, and all can be twisted and distorted – the caring mother can become the stifling mother, very easily.

But what’s missing from this piece is altruism. Oh, it’s alluded to near the end, but not underlined, as I would have done if I’d have written the piece.

The best part about mothering – actually, fathering too, I would think, because this has nothing to do with gender – is knowing that you have put another human being out there into the world. That because of your “yes” to the conception and birth of a child, another person exists, and is out there walking his or her own journey, in relationship with God, bringing amazing gifts to a world in need.

It sort of takes your breath away.

Mine, anyway.

I don’t think, actually, that this is something that you can really grasp until you have some distance from your kids – my two oldest are 21 and 18, and in the process of letting go, I’ve learned a lot. Most of all, I’ve learned that they do not belong to me, and they are not about me. They are about themselves and their own journeys with and to God. And for me to have played a role in that unique journey that will continue long after I’m gone, is plenty for me to grateful for, and more than enough to fulfill me.