I had a disappointing experience today. Our local After Prom mothers sponsored a movie night in the high school gym after the football game. It was open to grades 7-12. My oldest daughter is in the 7th grade. We found out a few days ago that the movie that would be shown was "The Longest Yard". I checked out the reviews on the USCCB site and elsewhere and discovered that this PG-13 movie really should have had an R rating. I decided then that my daughter would not attend.

Something moved me to get on the phone this afternoon and ask the organizers if they might consider showing a different movie, not so my kid could go but because of what all the others would be exposed to. One mother called a couple others and they decided that they would not change movies. The most hurtful comment I heard as justification for forging ahead with the smutty movie was that my sister-in-law’s oldest daughter had taken her third grade brother to see it in the theatre and s-i-l didn’t have a problem with it. S-i-l is considered a goody two shoes among the locals, probably because, as a former Baptist, she can quote Scripture and often does. This same sister-in-law is the leader of our parish youth group.

All of the mothers involved are church-going Christians. The reason one of them gave for not changing was, "We might piss off the kids if we change the movie." Keep in mind the event was a fundraiser for their own After Prom party. What are parents thinking letting their kids watch whatever movie they choose in this day and age? I think that a shocking majority of parents do not monitor this. Why? What causes them to lower their standards? Why would any parent send their kid to CCD or Sunday school and, in the same week, let them go to an R-rated or PG-13 movie overloaded with vulgarity, sex, violence, and depictions of drug use? I really don’t get it. Not at all. This would be a great topic for a Sunday homily. Parents need to wake up.

They do – survey any group of 4th or 5th graders at your local Catholic school, and you’d be surprised what they watch and listen to. My daughter is the "only kid in my class"  (8th grade) who can’t watch Desperate Housewives, Laguna Beach, The O.C. or MTV.

Now, this is my life for years now, and I see how it all comes out in the wash, with a 23-year old and a 20-year old. Control over access is one thing, but the more fundamental job we have as parents is to develop our childrens’ critical sensibilities on every level. Expose them to rich, authentically provocative (as in thought-provoking) material, help them develop a sense of humor that appreciates character, dryness, wit, and so on, and, if you can hold out, you might find you have a kid who, when he or she is finally allowed to see "what all the other kids have seen" might just return home, entirely puzzled at what all the fuss has been about.