One of the gigs that turned up in the Rome planning was the invitation to film a segment for Rome Reports, a television news service with a rather self-explanatory mission. While EWTN does broadcast their stuff (Sunday morning 10:30 eastern), I understand that their larger market is Spain.

So, what’s up? Well, they’re pulling together a DVC documentary for which they’re interviewing lots of smart people, including Elizabeth Lev, and for some odd reason, they decided to throw me into the mix. Monday was the day scheduled for the interview, so we all trooped over to the RAI office building, located near our apartment, as it turned out. Rome Reports isn’t affilicated with RAI, but their offices are housed there. The original plan had been to do the interview outdoors, but…it was raining. Fine, do it in the studio. But…no bambino. No children allowed in the building at all. RAI policy, and they wouldn’t budge. (So much for the Italian love of children! Actually, I don’t begrudge them. They had more serious security than the Vatican did, and children would just confuse things.)

So Michael had to take the children to his meeting in Vatican City, which wasn’t a problem since he’d warned the priest he was meeting with he might have an entourage and the priest had said fine…bambinos okay!

So, safely in the hands of veteran television news producer Mario Biasetti, who’s been in Rome for decades, working for CBS and FoxNews and the wonderful Susanna Pinto,  I was interviewed, but before I was dismissed, was informed that what they call B-roll footage needed to be shot. Which means, me doing interesting things around Rome.

(When I did the pointless Dateline shoot in NYC a year ago, the B-roll footage was shot outside the church inside which we’d filmed the interview – St. Mary the Virgin Anglican, near Times Square. Up and down, up and down – I had to walk on the sidewalk in front of the church, looking thoughtful. Now you know how they do those shots. It’s an incredibly silly feeling.)

The date was made for Wednesday, since Michael was going to the North American College for lunch and a tour in the afternoon.

Hauling children, I went back to the RAI studio after the General Audience on Wednesday, being careful not to get too close…no bambinos! The first stop would be the Borgo Pio – the pedestrian-only street that ran parallel to the street where our apartment was – very picturesque with outdoor dining, large numbers of priests and nuns bound to be walking by and so on.

Turns out they’d hired a couple of musicians that play in a restaurant in the area to provide atmosphere. Very nice Romanian guys who would sing O Solo Mio. There was a group of young people – high school age, it looked, who were about to get up from a couple of sidewalk tables, but they were told to stay put, the musicians planted themselves in the middle of the group, and I was supposed to approach, stop and listen and applaud.

Let us pray that didn’t make it in.

The problem, I could see right away, was the owner of the restaurant. He had a spirited conversation with Mario, during which his concern was obvious, even without knowing exactly what he said – these kids were occupying about 10 seats – they were done, and he wanted them to move on for new customers. He was not impressed by the possibility of television exposure. We had to film my approach something like three times, during which the owner got increasingly agitated, heck, it was almost like a movie! until the decision was made to just move on down the road and try something else.

The most likely candidate had been used the previous day in their filming of another segment, so we ended up just doing a scene of the musicians standing in the middle of the street, and me approaching, and listening. What a dork.

All this time, the children were watching from the side, Katie doing backpack duty. Susanna did a great job of keeping them entertained and getting them some snacks, for we were well into lunchtime by then.

But were we finished? No..next stop, St. Peter’s Piazza. This wouldn’t take long because the film crew didn’t have permission to actually set up on Vatican City property, so they put down the cameras in Italy and did a brief shot of me walking across the edge of the Piazza.

(By the way, on Friday, as we left the Vatican Museums, we were trying to find the "red stone" in the Piazza that supposedly marked the spot where a drop of John Paul’s blood had fallen during the assasination attempt. Jeffrey Kirby, the Charleston seminarian, had told us it was there and pointed in the general direction, but hadn’t actually pointed it out. We found it and were standing there looking at it, when we noticed a film crew hurriedly setting up – it was Greg Burke of Fox News, whom I’d met the previous night at Theology on Tap – they were doing a segment on the just-released report concluding that the assassination attempt had been a Soviet plot. Greg laughed because just as they were setting up, they saw us studying the spot and commented, "Wow…how do those people know where to look…we should film them.." And who was with the crew? Well, none other than producer Mario…a small journalistic world in Rome…As we left, the police had approached and the FoxNews crew was trying to make their case for filming there, which did not look like it was being positively received.)

Two B-roll scenes for one measly interview segment? You’d think that would be enough? Nah. Grab two cabs in front of St. Peter’s, and off to the Trevi Fountain.

I’ll admit I was a little irritated by then, but the consolation was that we were getting free transport to the Trevi Fountain, which we’d not yet seen anyway, and we’d move on and see some sights from there. So it wouldn’t be wasted time.

And yes, I had to stand in front of the Trevi, looking thoughtful, throwing in a coin. I repeat: nothing makes you feel dumber than shooting B-roll shots.

So finally we were done – Susanna (who is also writing for OSV occasionally now) was a marvelous, gracious help, and did great with the baby – so did Mario, come to think of it, who held Joseph’s hand as we walked to the Borgo Pio from RAI, entertaining him along the way, and who said to me on Friday that he recognized the baby in the backpack before he recognized the rest of us!

So…I have no idea what parts of my contribution will air. Considering the scholarly weight of the other interviewees, I can’t imagine much!