What you’ve been waiting for…another schedule for the Holy Whapping Television Network:

9:00 PM. Trading Chancels – The late Martin Travers guest-hosts this week’s episode, where we watch the new cathedral in Oakland get turned into a perfect 1/6th scale replica of St. Peter’s Basilica. Meanwhile, something goes horribly awry with the opposing team’s attempt to put vinyl siding on Chartres.

Monday
8:00 PM. House, O.P. – Mangy maverick novice-master Fr. Gregory House, embittered from years of suspicion from his superiors (“never trust a skinny Dominican”), ferrets out obscure heresies on the campus of the Catholic University of America. This week: fears of an outbreak of Montanism paralyze the Dominican House of Studies after unaccounted-for stockpiles of cheese are discovered in the basement by Sister Allison.
9:00 PM. The P.O.D. Couple – Hilarity ensues when Fra Oscar’s cigar and poker night clashes with Friar Felix’s turn to host his weekly ecology class. Can a Franciscan and a Dominican share an apartment without driving each other crazy?

snip

Wednesday
8:00 PM. Frater Magnus – A new season of last year’s blockbuster reality show returns. This time, the rectory is playing host to a member of the SSPX, someone from Voice of the Faithful, a Jesuit, a Priestly Fraternity seminarian, an Opus Dei numerary, a CL member, a Bulgarian Orthodox deacon…and Matthew Fox.
9:00 PM. Dr. Pusey. “Hello, Newman.” “Hello, Pusey.” The saga of America’s favorite sitcom about the Oxford Movement continues. This week, wackiness follows Dr. Pusey and Fr. Faber’s forced apartment-switch after Faber’s disastrous attempt to redecorate his place in the style of an Italian baroque chapel. Meanwhile, Christina Rosetti concocts an elaborate scheme to falsify her street-address so she can order Supreme Flouder from the local Chinese take-away.

My favorite from the previous edition:

10:30 PM. The Office. Sparks fly this week as Msgr. La Fontaine hatches a sure-to-backfire plot to stop Pope Pius’s latest dangerous plan to authorize the printing of the Psalms in a separate section, rather than with all the other rubrics. America just can’t get enough of this new sitcom, inspired by comedic shenanighans of the the 1911-1913 commission to reform the Roman Breviary.