A column from the Boston Pilot, the Archdiocesan paper:

When I go running at dawn on a cold winter morning along the Charles River, even those passers-by who would never join me at least appreciate the ideal that motivates me. Yet when I stroll through Harvard Square with five of my children, I encounter only incredulity and disdain.

But, needless to say, we Catholics can hardly be successful in leading others to see that large families are desirable, if we hardly act as though we believe this ourselves.

Couple of notes:

First, I’ve never really gotten the urge that some have to judge other people’s families. That is, to sniff at the couple with one or two children and sniff "Selfish Contraceptors!" or gawk at the large family and snort, "Breeders!"

It’s all a part of what I try to make my basic philosophy, which is, "You just never know…" As in..you just never know what people’s circumstances are. People are infertile. People have other physical issues. People live in essentially celibate relationships. Who knows.

Part of it might be because I am an only child myself, and I come from a line of small families. I have exactly 3 living cousins, one deceased. Going back one generation, even on my mother’s side, which is the RC side, I was in the midst of couples with few or even no children. It never occurred to me to ask why then or now. 

I do think all of us need to be constantly challenged to be more generous, less selfish, and to climb out of the general social contraceptive mentality which sees children as a burden rather than a gift. And, rather than criticize others, whose personal lives we know nothing about, tend to our own lives, that when we’re out and about, we’re good witnesses to the power of love and the delightful gift called children. 

This morning, I was in the locker room at the Y. The women’s locker room has a little lounge area with a TV that’s always blasting – this appalls my husband who says, "You all have a television? And couches?" Well, I don’t ever seen anyone ever sitting on them except for the people who work there, on break, but anyway – I could hear something from one of the morning television programs echoing through the lockers, and the gist of the story was how to overcome the problems children introduce into a marriage. And I thought – sure, adjusting to children is…well, and adjustment, but honestly, when is the last time you heard the secular media run a story on marriages being strengthened and deepened with children, as a natural fruit and function of coupledom, rather than treating the odd phenomenon of children akin to aliens invading a previously peaceful planet? Never.

I also think that there’s a red state/blue state aspect to this. Bigger families are far more common up here in northern Indiana – even factoring out the Amish – than they were in most parts of the South in which I’ve lived. I really don’t think anyone blinks at families of five children, and I wonder if most folks up here would even consider that a "big family." Above the norm, yes, but "big?" I think that might be reserved for 6 kiddos and more…