It is this last category, the souls in purgatory, who are the special focus of the month of November. Except for those dead whose presence in heaven is confirmed by miracles and the church’s canonization, we simply cannot know the state of a deceased person’s soul. God alone is capable of comprehending with exquisite justice and mercy the truth of each and every person. Since we cannot know even ourselves, much less others, as God knows us, it is an ancient instinct of Catholic piety, firmly rooted in doctrine, that we commend to the mercy of God all those who have passed from this world.
Heaven is no doubt home to countless saints — including relatives and friends — whose names will never appear on the church calendar. But we do the dead no eternal kindness by denying the possibility that on the other side of the grave they may still have to face some purification from the effects of sin. When I die, I certainly want the benefit of Masses and prayers offered for me. This makes no sense if we are all ready to be canonized at our death.
He goes on:
In the language of morticians, a Memorial Service is one in which the deceased is eulogized without the body present. For us, by contrast, a Funeral Mass is one in which we commend the deceased — body and soul — to the mercy of God, we console the sorrowing with God’s Word and the Eucharist, we thank God for the life of the deceased, and we affirm the bond between the living and dead in the communion of saints.
The wake is the primary place for remembering and celebrating the person’s life in this world. For that reason the liturgical books allow some brief word of thanks by a family member at the conclusion of a Funeral Mass, but not extended eulogies that are more appropriate for a wake service or for delivery before the Funeral Mass begins.