In which we relate the consequences of one man (married, with children) attempting to present the Church’s teaching on sexuality and marriage to participants in a…marriage prep course. First, the scene, set by the instructor:

"Well, only 37 of 84 possible evaluations were submitted. I think it’s safe to say that the 47 people who didn’t respond were in absolute complete 100% agreement with the Church’s teachings, and therefore in the interest of saving time and ink and paper, chose not to submit a response. Agree??

"They LOVE all of the amoral topics that our team members discuss: communication, finance (well, there’s certainly some morality there, but it’s an easier kind to accept or acknowledge), etc. It’s my talk (Life Giving Love) and the NFP talk which follows the second weekend that routinely get the hammer. "And the funny thing is, I could be inflammatory and abrasive if I wanted to. I got these marks while specifically trying not to be!"

And now for the responses, situation and names removed to protect everyone:

(After the jump)

I thought I’d pass on to you some of the direct verbatim feedback received concerning my latest Marriage Prep talk for the (diocese).  This is some really great stuff here. Now it might be worth noting that 8 out of 10 couples in the room are cohabitating, and at least 1 of the other 2 out of 10 not living together are having sex.  So right from the start, I’m the last talk they really want to hear as they prepare for marriage.

And by the way, these comments were written on evaluations—I always invite people who disagree or have a problem with anything I say about church teaching to come and talk with me, or e-mail me about it, but of course, none do.

Poor–unfortunately I did not care for this presenter’s style of presenting… 

I felt much of the topic was delivered in a narrow mindset, which in the end turned me off in general to much of what he said …Was a little harsh–understandably a sensitive issue but I feel being close to God is being accepting of others–felt he was a bit judgmental

Needs to be shortened–for mature couples getting married this isn’t as necessary, seems more for a high school based demographic

This portion of the program had a lot of things that may have helped, but unfortunately the speaker didn’t do a great job …Informative, good speaker

Arrogant–thought he knew everything…not personable at all..

So-so …Fire and brimstone, came off holier than thou

Felt like a sermon

He was good…he could have talked for less time though, because he got his point across very early in the talk…I did like what he had to say

Abrasive…the talk was very condescending–being told the proper way to live my life was offensive–I felt that his tone and message were delivered from a bully pulpit–he would have been more beneficial to me if he shared more of his experiences in his marriage than telling me his (and perhaps the Catholic Church’s) view on this topic

I did not benefit from this talk–I found (name) to be preaching the ‘don’ts’ and not the ‘whys’ behind the Church’s teachings–it turned me off

Good, but it lacked a section to allow us our own opinion–I would like to be given a choice to make my own decision as we are different–information is good, delivery is so-so

(name) is certainly knowledgeable about the theology of the Church and the issues facing her–though he is a clear speaker, I feel that the material has to be presented in a way that is more engaging–for example,(the priest’s) talk certainly had some theology in it but in a way that connected more with the audience and in my view, more effectively

Seemed, or rather I had the impression of a Sunday morning religious info-mercial

A lot of this was redundant–it was very useful information, yet this section could have been shortened, so that more time could be given for communication–it was very clear that (speakers’s) viewpoint of himself and family was very high

Respecting and appreciating my partner’s sexual morality is essential for a faithful and fulfilling marriage

Not very good or enjoyable, in fact, strange, i.e. "radical thinking"

I found him trying to justify and explain the mysteries of the religion–most could not be explained because we are called to believe, not understand–too long also and repetitive

Loved hearing both sides

Feeble attempt at scientifically demonstrating things that ought to be accepted as an act of faith

I’d like this talk given by a woman alone

So much information was packed into the presentation that it seemed the topic jumped around–I would have liked to hear more about what the strict rules/guidelines from Rome were, then followed by real-life examples

Good to think about these things

Very good

Great …Engaging speaker–I would be interested to hear in more detail about how the Church as interpreted biblical readings into is teaching on sex, contraception and cohabitation

"Christian View of Sex" topics in handouts should have more biblical passages rather than just generic phrases–help draw direct reference to scripture

Some of the information was difficult to follow but other information was good

Did not care for this presentation

Great message–could have been delivered in a way that affirmed communion with the Spirit

Very, incredibly offensive, intolerant and insensitive–not everyone shares your beliefs, you shouldn’t try to shove them down our throats

Since we weren’t there we can’t assess the critiques of style, but the ruffled feathers at being told "how to live" are interesting, if not suprising.

And the 8/10 figure for cohabitation isn’t surprising. At a university parish I was familiar with, the pre-marriage instructors put their population at 9/10.