In response to a wonderful set of questions generated by yesterday’s post on how to deal with a painful past, I continue where yesterday left off.
Lucy wrote:

I’m wondering if the concept of pain that you are referring to means specifically a communal pain that Jews feel together….of course we handle such tragedies by being active in relief efforts, by fighting tyrants, etc. On a personal level, our faith prescribes a blueprint of dealing with the death of a loved one…but complaining is not about pain. It seems to me that it “unJewish” to suffer on a personal level.

You are on the right track Lucy, and I appreciate your thoughtful comments. The pain to which I refer can be either collective or individual — the difference between them is not so great. Collectives or communities are made up of individuals and so their pain as a group is the aggregate of their pain as individuals.
Assuming that social action is the primary or even most effective way of “handling” such pain may be off base. Too often our own good deeds in response to a tragedy deflect the big spiritual or theological questions that tragedy can and should provoke. Also there is something too easy about assuming that our good deeds can fix everything. Sometimes we need to sit and feel something, even if it is really bad, before we do anything.
I also think that the personal mourning rituals of Jewish tradition are deeply instructive and relevant to collective mourning. In fact, there is no real distinction in those practices, which is why the celebration of a holiday ends one’s personal mourning. The underlying premise being that the joy of the community renders personal sadness an oxymoron. I actually think that we need to make MORE room for personal mourning in the tradition, but that is for another time.
Finally, you are totally correct about the dangers of “wallowing in self-pity” and “drowning in sorrow”. But I would be cautious in the use of descriptions like “un-Jewish” when describing the practices of others. Jewish tradition is deep and wide. The proof fro pretty much anything can be found within it. That is one of its great strengths. And it demands that we debate differences, not on the basis of their essential Jewishness, but on the basis of their wisdom and their ability to capture our own best understanding of the tradition we love.
Looking forward to more of your questions.