Many people believe that Bar and Bat Mitzvah parties are “out of control” in terms of lavishness and cost. They even made a movie about it called Keeping Up With The Steins. If you haven’t seen it, you should, especially if you are dealing with the issue in your own home or community.
Frankly, I am less concerned about the level of lavishness at any of these parties than many folks seem to be because they seem appropriate to the overall level of lavishness in the lives of those who make the parties. And why should the party which celebrates a religious event be less lavish than one which celebrates a secular one in the life of the same family?
All parties reflect the values of those giving them. The issue should be the degree to which the Bar or Bat Mitzvah party succeeds in reflecting the values publically affirmed by those celebrating. And in the case of Tuvia Stern, I shudder to think what those are.
According to the New York Post, Stern catered a fancy party, complete with kosher catering and a well-known Jewish singer, for his son’s Bar Mitzvah in Stern’s current home — the New York City downtown lockup known as “The Tombs”. Worse yet, the city of New York paid overtime to the guards who supervised the festivities!

Other than the inappropriate use of public funds for the guards, some have asked “what’s the big deal?” My answer: “Nothing, if you want to teach your children that crime does pay, that manipulation works, that Jewish ritual celebration has no ethical content, and that there is no shame in being a financial-scam artist.”
The jailhouse rabbi who approved this offensive behaviour has been suspended for two weeks. I can’t wait to hear what excuse he offers for his behaviour.