Sunday, September 25 at 9:47 a.m “Where are we going for church?” “Is it Sunday already?” “’Fraid so, babe. Get up. Have some coffee and an Emergen-C.” “God…. Ow…. Why am I wearing your bra? How about the Hare Krishnas? No wait. Let’s go to the 24-Hour Church of Elvis. It’ll take 15 minutes and…

If, for some strange reason, you happen to venture into Vancouver, Washington — just a stone’s throw from Portland, barring traffic congestion — you might notice more than few cars bearing the bumper sticker “Only God.” Its white-on-black design (opposite of the above) is reminiscent of the “Got Milk?” campaign that launched a thousand copycats.…

When I was a kid, one of our favorite family camping rituals was the initiation into the Secret Order of the Goose. When night fell, we’d gather around the campfire and with outstretched arms, my stepdad would lead us in the incantation: “Owa… Tagoo… Siam!” And then we’d say it all together: “Owatagoosiam!” Giggles ensued.…

Amanda and I took the day off today from church in order to get a head start on Halloween decorating. Which means that I ducked into our home office to escape the chaos of three kids unpacking styrofoam spiders to, uh, touch bases with my favorite readers of irreverent religious crapola. Thanks for being here…

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