I went to Atlanta over the weekend and took a class called Divine Design through my pastor’s prompting. I won’t lie though, I didn’t really “feel” like going, consumed by my own circumstantial junk.  I sat there reading and rereading his email about helping me step into what he believes is God’s calling ( sorta speak). He gave me words of encouragement with my writing and said that promotion comes from above. However, the conference was in 3 days. What was I going to do? Was I going to just blow it off or was I going to be obedient to God and go? All my expenses were paid for too. I had no excuses so I pressed in and said YES! However, I had so much anxiety leading up to this trip. I didn’t know if it was because I was consumed with my own stuff or that I was going somewhere unknown? Probably both.

We sometimes think if it’s from God then it is supposed to feel warm and fuzzy but not true at all. I am learning slowing what is from God and what is not. He gives us discernment if we ask and I knew this opportunity was from him.

Are you tired? Worn out from trying to figure out what to do next? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me. Watch how I do it, because I am in control. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill- fitting on you when you come to Me. I long for your company and I will show you how to learn to live freely.  ( translation of Matthew 11:28-30)

I was tired, stressed, and clearly had some anxiety and then God spoke to me in the beautiful and gentle way He always does with the verse above. Through this class, I had a much deeper understanding of the love that our father has for us. Since, we are made in His image and Christ died for our sins, we no longer have to figure out every little detail of our life. We actually have someone who already knows and will work it out for good. We hear such words and they sound really great but when the going gets tough, the tough get going??? Wait, that can’t be right if I am following Christ. These old adages like “when the going gets tough” are false, false, false but don’t we kinda believe them when we are “comparing” our lives to others? We see and think, “Well, so and so worked really hard and look it’s paying off, she just bought a house.” Honestly, I thought that too until this trip to Atlanta.

I have been trying to find a job- ugh!! What I want to do is write but unfortunately writing is not paying all my bills just yet. I get up most mornings and start looking at the job posts and apply to all that apply. I have put out feelers with family and friends, telling God, I will do whatever you want me to do, just put me to work……. and nothing.

I have gone over every scenario in my head of what I could possibly be doing wrong. “Shannon, you clearly are not trying hard enough.” I have felt shame and sorrow from not only myself but also from my loved ones, saying “it’s time to get a real job.” I have begged for God to just show me something. I have turned every stone, I know to “turn” and still nothing.

See, people try and fit you into what worked in their lives but God says, we are all completely unique and His plan for my life is not His plan for your life. Why does it feel that someone you know always seems to get the breaks in life? Plain and simple, the seen is not what is really going on. Our senses tells us how things are in the natural but God dictates both the natural and the supernatural. Did you know the supernatural is far more real than the natural?

We act out of our flesh to control. Flesh is controlling, period!! We are looking to get our needs met and if they are not met in our time frame, we begin to act out on our own, apart from God. We ultimately take matters into our own hands. That’s what I try and do. I feel a since of real pain and I tell myself, you must fix this.

But what if….. God says, follow me and I will lead the way. Oh wait,  He does say that and much more. He is clear about meeting our needs. He is clear about giving us the desires of our heart and He is clear that He is with us every moment of everyday. Does He say, this life is going to be easy breezy? Nope! Does he say, no troubles will fall upon you if you follow me? Nope!

But, He does say, trust me and rest in me and I will work it out for good.

God spoke to me in my class and let me know again. I am your source and  I am your provider. You rest, I will work on your behalf. Rest does not mean don’t do ANYTHING. What it means is that He is there and He will make a way when it is the perfect time, His time.

So now it’s Monday and I wait expectantly for the lover of my soul to make a way for me.

Do you truly believe with God anything is possible?

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go- Psalm 32