Do you find yourself feeling like you have to perform for others? Is there a sickening sense that you don’t even know who you are? Are you ever fearful that you are alone in your struggles but to you and the rest of the world, struggles are for the weak, the broken so you keep them in hiding? Do you find yourself trying to control your circumstances? I need a plan! I need to go after what I want if I am ever going to get anywhere in this life! We live and die by what we have been taught. We look around and wonder, what the hell is going on? We find ourselves still thirsty for something but what?

For the believer, we even refuse to be our true self with God and then wonder why we lack intimacy with Him. The deepest desire for our hearts is for union with God. The tree of life not of knowledge is where we live in receiving and not achieving. The bible speaks on surrender many, many times. Surrendering is part of the pathway to maturity and effectiveness. Surrendering to God’s agenda and not our own requires different lens, a clearer lens. Most people’s list’s of things they would include as important and top priority is family, work, happiness, comfort, prosperity, security, friends, good health, and reaching their full potential. Are these outside of God and what He wants? “No way we tell ourselves!”

The above list is more about “my needs and my wants” versus God’s plan for “my needs and my wants”. It’s true that God may and often does provide for us measures of prosperity, happiness, good health, and fulfillment ( family, friends). However, our surrender gives way for who we really are and what we really desire. God’s glory and kingdom gives way to work when people have surrendered to agendas beyond their own.

From the moment of our existence, our most powerful yearning is to fulfill the original purpose of our lives- to see Him more clearly, to love Him more dearly, to follow Him more nearly. “We are made for God, and nothing less will really satisfy us.” C.S. Lewis said he was “surprised by joy, gripped by desire that made everything else insignificant in comparison. “Our hearts will ever be restless until we rest in Him.”

Impostors draw their identity not only from achievements but from interpersonal relationships.  The want to stand well with people of prominence because that enhances a person’s resume and sense of self worth.  Author Brennan Manning who began his relationship with God (truly seeking) said.. One night, I heard this message from God….” Brennan, you bring your full presence and attention to certain members of the community but offer a diminished presence to others. Those who have stature, wealth, and charisma, those who you find interesting or charming, or pretty command your undivided attention, but people you consider plain or dowdy, those of lesser rank performing what you consider menial tasks, the unsung and uncelebrated are not treated with the same regard.” “This is not a minor issue for Me, Brennan.”” The way you are with others, everyday, regardless of their status, is the true test of faith.”

Without God we are truly lost. Our false identity keeps us believing who we need to be and who we need to impress. We find ourselves going around in circles, feeling more confused and less assured each day. We strive and strive only to feel the emptiness creeping back in. We buy, we control, we seek in things that we think we bring us more of something?

The false self specializes in treacherous disguise. He is the lazy part of self, resisting the effort, asceticism, and discipline that intimacy with God requires. He inspires rationalizations, such as ” God knows I am busy. ” I am trying to work.”

Have you ever felt baffled by your internal resistance to prayer? By the existential dread of silence, solitude, and being alone with God? Beware the impostor is creating more distorted views of who God really is and how much He longs for your time.

The impostor is antsy. He hungers for excitement all of the time and craves approval. The impostor doesn’t get it when he hears other people talking about how they heard from God or what God told them to do. His belief system has been tainted by the world system. He measures true success with money and power not by a relationship with God. All of our paths are different but God is the one who shows us the way.

The truth is we all are carry some kind of impostor. We have been suffocated with the world’s lies.. Do better, so you can be better!!! To dismantle this “image” we must come out of hiding and then be accepted and embraced. Whatever is denied cannot be healed. We must acknowledge humbly that we often inhabit an unreal world, that we have trivialized our relationship with God, and have been driven by vain ambition. This is the beginning and first blow in dismantling the glittery image we think we want others to see.

Jesus offers us a new possibility….

Burn the old tapes spinning around in your head that bind you up and lock you into self-centeredness. Listen to the new song of salvation written for those who know that they are poor. Let go of your fear (unhealthy fear) of the Father and your dislike of yourself. Look in the mirror of reality ( God). The Father of lies twists the truth and distorts reality. He is the author of cynicism, skepticism, mistrust, despair, sick thinking, and self hatred. I am the Son of compassion, You belong to Me and no one will tear you from my hand. Take His hand, the road is narrow but also an adventure. You can be led by the ruler over all; who loves you more than you could ever fully really grasp.

Jesus’ disclosed Gods true feelings towards us. The people Jesus encountered in the gospels is you and me. He is there to help us. He wants to help us but the choice is ours. We are made to be dependent on our creator, seeking His will, His wisdom, and His guidance in our everyday lives. He will undo most of what you thought was right thinking and right living. He will do a great work in you and there will be rewards. The journey will be easy and it will also be tough but He will provide whatever you need as long as you cling to His ways and His guidance. Going rogue leads to death, there is no fruit there. All of everything we desire lies in only one.

Abba’s Child- Brennan Manning