I often hear people say…heck, the truth is, I have said these things before myself…

“Everything happens for a reason”

“There are no mistakes”

“God never puts more on you than you can handle…”

It comes in many sizes and shapes, but it is this notion that life for all of us is sort of determined already. As if the script were written already and we are merely players acting out a drama on stage.

This belief has been drilled into the American psyche (and religion) for so long, it is hard to even question it, much less lay it down once-and-for-all.

I am in the process of thinking again about this and, in some instances, even attempting to live by a different sort of belief. Here’s where I am:

I do not think everything happens for a reason.
I do believe there are all kinds of accidents, tragedies, and mistakes.
I do not believe at all that God puts anything on anybody.

There. I said it.
Now, having said this, here’s the flip side of all of this.

While I do not think all things happen for some reason, I give reasons to all things that happen.

I suspect you do, too.

Sometimes, I even project onto God the reasons I’ve given for making purposeful what at first blush, and sometimes second blush, looks completely purposeless. It helps me to give meaning to what feels totally meaningless.

“But what does God have to do with this?” you ask.

Maybe something. Most likely nothing. In either instance, it’s what you make of it that matters.

While I do believe there are accidents, tragedies, and, ultimately, things that occur for which there is no logical explanation, there is at one-and-the-same-time a Mystery in all that happens and it is that Mystery I seek to find.

If I could stop giving credit to God for something he didn’t do (as in helping my team score the winning touchdown) or blaming God for something he didn’t cause (as in a tornado or the sudden and senseless death of a child), am I not then able to look for God’s presence inside the center point of my pain?  Why must God be made the culprit in all that happens? God did not cause these things; but, isn’t it possible, that God is hiding inside each thing that happens just waiting to be found?

Or, maybe God is the one who is seeking?

While I do not believe God puts anything on anybody, God does want us to enjoy unbroken, uninterrupted union with her.

That I believe.

In this respect, therefore, I learn…I grow…I find meaning…I give meaning…I ever seek to walk with God…not by resisting WHAT IS – even the horrible stuff…Oh yes, I probably do at first but that never seems to make the horrible stuff disappear. So, when I gather my wits, I seek to live fully and completely into whatever this moment presents, no matter how pleasant or painful it may be.

Because I know…

When I have learned the lesson this present challenge presents…

       Growth occurs…

               And the challenge disappears.

BTW, this is what it means to advance in spiritual awareness.

Dr. Steve McSwain is an author and speaker, counselor to non-profits and congregations, an advocate in the fields of self-development, interfaith cooperation, and spiritual growth. His blogs at BeliefNet.com, the Huffington Post, as well as his own website (www.SteveMcSwain.com) inspire people of all faith traditions. Dr. McSwain is an Ambassador to the Council on the Parliament for the World’s Religions. His interfaith pendants are worn by thousands on virtually every continent, sharing his vision of creating a more conscious, compassionate, and charitable world. Visit his website for more information or to book him for an inspirational talk on happiness, inner peace, interfaith or charitable living.