Sometimes I’m just speechless. Kanye West couldn’t keep it to himself that he thought the wrong person won the MTV Video Music award. Representative Wilson shouted “You lie!” in the middle of the President’s speech. Are they putting something in the water that is destroying our ability to have any restraint?
I think about all those cliches I heard in childhood from parents, grandparents, and teachers: “Think (or even ‘count to 10’) before you speak…There’s a time and a place for everything…Let the other person talk, even if you disagree…Wait your turn…Sometimes taking the high road means not proving that you’re right….” Where were these people’s parents and teachers?
West could have been such a gentleman, keeping a lid on his emotions and afterwards sending Beyonce an impressive bouquet with a note that said, “To me, you’re always the winner.” Wilson could have kept his cool, collected his documentation, and called a press conference on the President’s perceived prevarication. He could have made his points and, if they were valid, made himself look good instead of like a loose canon.
My husband, William, once said to me: “My values spell ditch.” And he proceeded to enumerate them:
- Discretion
- Integrity
- Tolerance
- Civility
- Humility
I think these are so beautiful. If people held to them, we wouldn’t be talking about these faux pas a la West and Wilson. When William first told me about DITCH, it sounded so British, the old stiff-upper-lip and upper-crusty value system based on a private-school education and an “old family” lineage. But William came from Liberty, Missouri. His dad was an auto mechanic and his mom worked on assembly lines. These values come from deep inside him, and inside them. They’re not about status, they’re about substance.
If you like them, tell your friends. Put them in your blog and on Facebook. Send them to your Congressperson and your favorite entertainers. Maybe we can start a trend.