As Valentine’s week continues, I’m offering some suggestions for any fellas out there who are smitten with a woman of the vegan (or vegetarian) persuasion. Her book, Dating Vegans, based on her column of the same name in American Vegan magazine, is coming next year from The Book Publishing Company. Among the couples to be featured are my daughter Adair and her husband Nick (she was vegan when they met, and he was a lapsed vegetarian; he un-lapsed and they’re living happily every after); and my husband William, who ate meat when I met him but is now a vegetarian. (I’m an imperfect vegan. That is, I’m as vegan as I manage to be, but somebody somewhere has seen me eat a “conventional” muffin. I admit it.)

1. Respect her values and beliefs. You may not agree with them or understand them yet, but you wouldn’t want to go on a date with someone who belittled or trivialized your religious or political beliefs, and most vegans do not want to go out with someone who does not respect their beliefs on diet and compassion.

2. Suggest a grocery shopping date. Learn what is objectionable in common items and how to find alternatives. It can be a game to see how many seconds it takes you to spot the non-vegan item in the ingredients.

3. And then, make dinner together! Find a vegan recipe you would like to try. Healthy Hearty Helpings has lots of easy vegan recipes to make. It makes a great gift too.

4. Try her food without disparaging it. If you do not like it, say something like, “This one must be an acquired taste,” instead of “Oh my God, how do you eat this stuff?” Genuinely compliment what you do like.

5. Be a thoughtful carnivore. If you eat animal products in her presence, don’t make a big deal out of it. A big turn-off is, “Yum, blood!” And most of all: If you eat meat, never, ever, attempt to kiss her before you’ve brushed your teeth and used mouthwash.

6. Show your soft side; even tough men have one. Suggest a day trip to an animal sanctuary. Or volunteer at an animal shelter. And definitely love her pets. Bring them vegan treats. Play with them.

7. Research vegetarian or veg-friendly (often ethnic) restaurants in your area and invite her out to dinner. You might suggest she pick two vegan dinners that you can share. Check out the desserts too. Keep a pint of non-dairy ice cream in your freezer, just in case you want to suggest dessert at your place after the meal.

8. Bring her a small gift. Anything that you give is an expression of you and your values. You might want to give vegan chocolate and/or a well-thought item of non-animal material. Wrap the box of chocolates in a scarf of her favorite color. That shows creativity and environmental concern by not wasting wrapping paper. Make sure it is not a silk scarf (or leather, fur, wool, or other animal products). Homemade vegan cookies are great too!

9. Ask her questions about her lifestyle because you really are interested. When you’re ready, suggest watching slaughterhouse footage or an animal rights video or vegan video. Be prepared to think. Careful, this may be a mood-killer for the evening. (If you watch the film and aren’t moved, you need to be dating a lovely omnivore instead of this lovely vegan.)

10. Remember that she’s not only a vegan, she’s a woman, too. Women like attention, courtesy, kindness, humor, and being made to feel special — vegan women and all others.