Today’s Money Coaching Monday is in response to Margaret’s call for help with her marriage. Here’s Margaret’s prayer request:

“I am praying that God will step in and make situation turn into a
positive one and that my marriage can be saved. Throughout the marriage
I have made some really dumb financial decisions that have led to two
bankruptcies and other issues. My husband can now no longer deal with
my issues and has ask me for a divorce. Please pray that God can make
our marriage work and it not go to divorce. ”  (read more….)

Dear Margaret,

Without knowing the details, it seems as though you suffer from some self-sabotaging money behaviors that are causing difficulties in your marriage. It’s important for you to know that there are reasons for your
behavior that may not be obvious and you deserve help and support
in understanding the root of these issues. It may also be that your “money issues”
may be a symptom of other problems in your marriage.

Clearly you and your husband would benefit from the help of a Marriage Counselor or Money Coach. Investing
in the help you need and deserve is worth the expense and quite
frankly, much less costly, financially and emotionally, than divorce.
Our relationships are so valuable and important, it’s critical that we
reach out and get the support we need.

  Also, here’s a few tips that I recommend you take to help your marriage
through this challenging times:

1. Forgive yourself (and your spouse) for your financial circumstances.
What’s done is done, forgive and release it. You cannot rebuild your
lives and the future if you are living in the past.

2. If you’re heavily in debt and need help, contact the American
Consumer Credit Counseling, a non-profit organization that can help you
get back on track.http://www.consumercredit.com/

3. Contact the National Foundation for Credit Counseling and locate a
certified credit counselor to in your area to help you. Remember, It’s
important to work with people who are properly trained and certified.

4. Remember that your core money issues get triggered when you are
under stress, but they most likely did not originate in your marriage. They
usually represent unhealed wounds from childhood that you each brought into the
relationship. Have compassion for yourself and seek help to heal the wounds from the
past.

5. It is so easy to focus on what’s wrong that we often forget to
remember what’s good in our  relationship. Make a list of what is
working in your relationship and what you truly love about your partner.
Share this openly with one another. We all greatly need to be
acknowledged.

6. Most financial differences are due to a failure to effectively
communicate our needs, fears and grievances, which tend to accumulate
over time. Learn to talk openly and calmly and without blame. If there
is an issue that is irresolvable, seek professional guidance.

Here’s a prayer for Margaret and others who need help:

Dear God,

Please help me and my beloved to move past

our personal and financial challenges.

Show us the way to forgiveness,

help us to release the past

and awaken to the gift of today which brings

new hope and opportunity to begin again.

Help us to recover from our financial struggles,

to become free from debt and learn

from our past experiences.

Please strengthen our faith in you and our relationship,

heal our wounds and return us to the heart of our love.

We surrender this you and know that it is done.

And so it is.

Amen.