Money problems, mounting bills or job loss can be very stressful on any relationship. When we are stressed, we are not always our best selves and it can be easy for couples to fall into the trap of anger and blame. Which is sort of like throwing gasoline on a fire…it simply causes the problems to get bigger and potentially out of control.

If you’re relationship or marriage is being challenged by the recession, here’s a few  tips that I recommend to help you through this challenging times:

1. Forgive yourself (and your spouse) for your financial circumstances.
What’s done is done, forgive and release it. You cannot rebuild your
lives and the future if you are living in the past.

2. If you’re heavily in debt and need help, contact the American
Consumer Credit Counseling, a non-profit organization that can help you
get back on track.http://www.consumercredit.com/

3. Contact the National Foundation for Credit Counseling and locate a
certified credit counselor to in your area to help you. Remember, It’s
important to work with people who are properly trained and certified.

4. Remember that your core money issues get triggered when you are
under stress, but they most likely did not originate in your marriage. They
usually represent unhealed wounds from childhood that you each brought into the
relationship. Have compassion for yourself and seek help to heal the wounds from the
past.

5. It is so easy to focus on what’s wrong that we often forget to
remember what’s good in our  relationship. Make a list of what is
working in your relationship and what you truly love about your partner.
Share this openly with one another. We all greatly need to be
acknowledged.

6. Most financial differences are due to a failure to effectively
communicate our needs, fears and grievances, which tend to accumulate
over time. Learn to talk openly and calmly and without blame. If there
is an issue that is irresolvable, seek professional guidance.

Here’s a prayer for all those couples in need of help at this time:

Dear God,

Please help me and my beloved to move past

our personal and financial challenges.

Show us the way to forgiveness,

help us to release the past

and awaken to the gift of today which brings

new hope and opportunity to begin again.

Help us to recover from our financial struggles,

to become free from debt and learn

from our past experiences.

Please strengthen our faith in you and our relationship,

heal our wounds and return us to the heart of our love.

We surrender this you and know that it is done.

And so it is.

Amen.