One of the most difficult aspects of moving from emotional immaturity to emotional maturity is coming to terms with the fact that in every relationship, you must bring something to the table. In order to have good relationships with your spouse, employer or family members, you have to have something to offer (besides being alive and having a pulse).

It is impossible to have a successful relationship in which you solely take and never give. You can complain all day about how people should “accept” you for who you are, but no one is going to want to deal with you if you don’t do things for other people.  For instance, no one is going to want to marry you, or stay married to you, if your major contribution to the marriage is to watch television and eat chips.  No employer is going to want to hire you if you are sloppy and unhelpful.  Employers (and spouses) want people who are responsible and hard-working and who have a good attitude.

Serving others isn’t just about being nice. When we serve others, we in turn become successful in all areas of our lives.  Couples who serve each other have happier marriages.  People who are good at serving others are better employees.  They have more friends.  And they have better relationships with their children and families.

If a certain relationship in your life isn’t going as planned, ask yourself this, “What am I bringing to the table? Am I helpful?  Or am I spending most of my time thinking about all the things that person should be doing for me?”  If your job situation isn’t going well, ask yourself, “Am I giving my job my best effort?  Do I go in every day with a good attitude?  Or do I put a sour look on my face if someone asks me to do something outside of my job description?”

Even our relationship with God requires us to offer ourselves up in service. Yes, God loves you unconditionally.  There is nothing you can do that will make God reject you.  However, if you want to have a good relationship with God, you need to do your part.  You need to communicate with Him through prayer.  You need to seek His guidance in all things.  And you need to be willing to give your life up in service to Him.

This week, consider what it is that you are bringing to the table in your relationships.  Are you being helpful when a family member is overwhelmed?  Are you giving your job your best effort?  Are you spending a portion of each day doing things to serve others, or is your time mainly spent serving your own needs?  Then spend some time thinking about the ways that you can boost your service quotient.  It will be time well spent.

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