So much of the way we experience the world is dictated by our minds. Let me give you an example.  A number of years ago, I was sitting in my backyard with a friend.  We both lived in a lovely town which had modern conveniences and natural beauty.  In my mind, it was a great place to live.  While we were chatting, he turned to me and said, “I can’t take living here a minute longer.”  We were living in the same place, but our minds experienced it differently.

This happens all the time. Two people will see the same movie, and one will love it while the other will hate it.  It happened to me just recently.  My husband and I hosted a dinner.  He thought it was a rousing success, whereas I thought it was a train wreck.  It was all a matter of perspective.

Of course, there are certain experiences that are objectively good or bad. Winning the lottery is an objectively good experience.  Being the victim of a crime is an objectively bad experience.  But in-between that, there is a wide range of experiences that are either good or bad depending on how our minds perceive them.

That is why in order to be happy, we need to learn to manage our minds. So, if a situation is not enjoyable for you, you need to find ways to think about it differently.  For instance, let’s say that you don’t like your job.  Consider focusing your mind less on the actual work you are doing, and more on the friendships that you are making with your colleagues.  And while you may not like your work, remember that you are developing skills which you likely will use in a future job.  If you decide to start looking for another job, enjoy the process.  Feel hopeful that there is a world of opportunities out there, and that someone is looking for your special talents.

Certain aspects of your life may need improvement – your relationships, your home, or even your finances. But you nevertheless can train your mind to see even what is imperfect in a positive manner.  “Yes, I may be getting divorced, but now I have the opportunity to live the life I’ve always dreamed of.”  “Sure, my house is small, but that means that I can live within my budget and still have money to take trips.”  “I may not have a big salary, but I am debt free, and I pay off my bills every month.”  So much of our life experience is based on where we focus our thoughts.

It is well worth your time to train your mind to focus on what is good in life. So, if you start to feel irritated or overwhelmed, turn your thoughts to what is going well.  When you feel frustrated, aggressively redirect your thoughts to something positive.  When we take control of our thoughts, we take control of how we experience the world.  And if that isn’t the key to happiness, I don’t know what is.

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