“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.”
― Nicole Reed, “Ruining You”

Whether or not we are successful often is a matter outside of our control.  For instance, you can be incredibly nice and love someone deeply, and they may not love you back.  You can work harder than anyone else in your office and still not be promoted to management.  You can eat healthy foods, exercise and abstain from alcohol and nicotine, and still get sick.

The bottom line: Life is not fair.

That is a tough pill to swallow for many people. As a result, some folks become paralyzed after being dealt even one unfair blow by life.  They can’t come to grips with the fact that our efforts don’t always yield the results that we expect.  But if you let life’s unfairness paralyze you, you will never reap the beautiful blessings that God has in store for you.

For example, my first marriage ended in divorce. To me, it felt very unfair.  I had worked hard to be a good wife and mother.  However, no matter what I did, I could not make the relationship work.

Now I could have been paralyzed by that experience. I could have decided that if one person didn’t appreciate me as a wife, then no one would.  I could have given up.  However, I knew that I wanted to be married.  I knew that I wanted to experience traditional family life.  So, I didn’t allow one seemingly unfair experience stop me from believing that I could one day be happily married.  And then one day, out of the blue, God presented me with a kind, thoughtful, generous man with whom I now have a wonderful friendship and marriage.  But that wouldn’t have happened if I had decided to give up after one failed marriage.

What I’ve learned over the years is that you can do all the right things and objectively deserve a certain outcome, and it may not happen. Life isn’t always fair.

When we are faced with life’s seeming unfairness, our faith needs to jump in. When life doesn’t go according to our plans, we have to step back and say, “God, not mine, but thy will be done.”  We have to let go of the outcome that we are clutching to and know that God has a good plan for us.  Then we have to keep trying, working hard and doing the right thing, knowing that in the end, God will take our efforts and do something wonderful with them.

If you have gone through unfair circumstances, please don’t be discouraged. Accept that life is neither fair nor straightforward.  It doesn’t always go according to plan.  But know that if you remain faithful to God, He will take your unfair experiences and use them for your benefit.

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