Difficult people are everywhere. It is hard to avoid them. They are noisy. They are argumentative. They kick up a big fuss when they don’t get their way. They can be aggressive. And the bottom line is that they are just plain annoying.

I recently dealt with someone who is a very difficult person. This person loves to argue and harass until they get you to do what they want. And for someone like myself, who is mild-mannered, this person’s behavior is draining.

You have two choices when dealing with a difficult person. You can argue with them, or you can just walk away. I’ve taken both approaches in my life. But as I get older, I realize that arguing is a waste of my time. I am a busy person, and I just have better things to do. So recently, when I dealt with this person who was being irrationally difficult, instead of arguing back, I just walked away from the situation.

The problem is that difficult people are huge time wasters. They love to create problems where none exist. They enjoy conflict because they are bored with their lives or are unhappy with themselves. And unfortunately, if one of these people is a family member or co-worker, you have to deal with them in some capacity.

Now, folks will argue that if you just walk away or ignore people like this, then you are being a doormat. Or you are being dominated. Frankly, it is just the opposite. When you ignore or simply walk away from someone who is being difficult, that keeps you in power. You are in control of your life, your emotions and your responses to others. There is no more powerful position in which to be.

When you choose to engage with a difficult person and argue, then you are feeding their desire for conflict. Let them seek conflict elsewhere! Set your boundaries, and make clear that you will not engage, no matter how much they rant and rave.

My daughter once asked me why I don’t argue with difficult people. Teenagers love to debate and argue! I told her, “I don’t argue or debate with people that I don’t care about. And if I care about someone, I’d rather discuss.”

I consider this to be one of the signs of maturity: How much do you argue with people? It takes maturity not to argue. It takes maturity to live your own life, and let other people live theirs. It takes maturity to allow others to have opposing viewpoints from your own and still be able to enjoy their company.

My husband and I view many things differently. We are on different sides of the aisle, politically. We have different views on child-rearing. We don’t see eye to eye on all kinds of things, but none of that really matters.

We are committed to having a happy marriage, and that means that neither one of us is ever going to try to change the other person. He never asks me to do something that I don’t want to do, and I never expect him to do something that he doesn’t want to do. We have tons of common interests, from cooking to travel to our involvement in our church. So, we do those things together that we both enjoy. Otherwise, we enjoy our separate interests, separately!

But not all relationships have that level of acceptance. And the bottom line is that when people behave in a difficult manner, it is because they don’t accept you. They want to change you. They want you to act differently, or think differently.

You can’t argue with people like that. You can’t make difficult people be reasonable. All you can do is ignore them, or simply walk away.

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