God has blessed each us with gifts and talents. We are called to develop those talents and use them to serve the world. Yet, many people don’t ever fully develop their gifts. They never reach their full potential. And typically, it isn’t due to being lazy. Rather, it is due to their holding self-defeating beliefs.

We all fall prey to beliefs that don’t serve us. The sooner we can identify those beliefs as false, the sooner we can start achieving the wonderful things that God wants us to do in this world.

Below are some self-defeating beliefs that may be keeping you from being all that God has made you to be. Consider whether you may hold some of these beliefs. Question whether they are true, and whether you might be better off changing the way you think.

“I Have to Do Everything Perfectly”: As human beings, none of us is perfect. So, each one of us will make mistakes. And sometimes, we will make very public mistakes. That is part of life. There is nothing wrong with making mistakes. In fact, they can be very valuable, if they help you to develop your humility.

I’ve never been able to do anything perfectly. I was never an academic superstar or a musical genius. And at a certain point, I had to stop beating myself up for not being amazing. I had to say to myself, “I’m going to give my 100% effort to everything. My results may not be great, in spite of my efforts, but that is OK. I’m going to start taking pride in having done my best.”

That is a difficult mental shift to make. We are trained to achieve for the reward of being publicly acknowledged. However, your parents and peers are unlikely to praise you for doing your best. People dole out praise rarely, and typically only when you’ve done something fantastic. So, you have to give up the need to have praise from others. You have to learn to be pleased with yourself for simply doing your best.

“My Problems in Life Were Caused by Someone Else”: It is very rare that you can blame your problems on someone else. A freak accident is not your fault, obviously. Losing your job because your company goes out of business is not your fault. But the reality is that most of our problems are self-created. We are truly our own worst enemy.

It took me a long time to truly take this concept in. It has taken some soul-searching to accept responsibility for my life. The reality is that my career did not go as far as I would have liked because I agreed to make multiple moves to benefit my first husband’s career, and because I chose to take a break from my career to take care of my daughter when she was small. Those were my choices. And while I regret moving for the benefit of my first husband’s career, I can say without a doubt that taking care of my daughter when she was small was well worth it. It was truly the best and most rewarding experience that I’ve ever had. However, I paid a price with my career for those life choices. But I now have accepted that those were my choices.

If you go down the path of blaming others for your problems, you will continue to make mistakes. Once you start taking ownership of your life and your past, then you can start making better decisions for the future. You will be more careful and strategic as to how you spend your time, who you spend your time with, and how much or little that you do for others.

“It Is Unfair That Everyone’s Life Is Easier Than Mine”: I’d like to say that we all were born with an equal amount of wealth and ease in life, but that simply isn’t true. There are some people on this earth who are stupidly rich, either because they worked for their money, or because it was just given to them. Then there are others who are born into poverty or dysfunctional families. We don’t all start out on an even playing field.

However, the real achievers in this world are rarely the people who have been born with silver spoons in their mouths. We need resistance and obstacles to achieve. People who do great things have had to overcome their circumstances. Think of Abraham Lincoln. Think of Bill Clinton. Think of Oprah. None of those people started out with easy lives. But by learning to overcome adversity, they learned the most important skill for success – perseverance. If you’ve never learned to persevere, you’ll never achieve anything meaningful.

We see this all the time with people who were given too much as children and teenagers. If you never needed to get a job during high school, and if you never had to pay for anything important as a kid, how will you ever find the drive to become successful and make money? Those kinds of motivational skills are instilled early on – or not.

So, don’t bemoan the fact that you may have been born into difficult circumstances. Don’t feel frustrated that right now everyone else’s life seems easier than yours. Instead, become a stronger person by climbing over your obstacles. Become a more diligent person by working hard to take yourself to the next level. See your seemingly unfair circumstances as the blessings that they really are.

Consider how you may have beliefs that may be holding you back in life. Challenge yourself to think about your life in a healthier manner. Develop a worldview and attitude that puts you on the path to success.

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