We all can feel intimidated by certain situations, whether they be social or professional. For instance, it is hard to go to a party where you don’t know anyone. Or it can be difficult to start a new job. At times like that, we want to feel confident, but so much of what we are facing is unknown. So, instead we feel uncertain as to whether we can meet the challenge lies ahead.

The key to walking into any situation with confidence is to be prepared. In fact, the key is to be overly prepared. Winging it will never help your confidence level.

Let’s say, you are nervous about a social situation. You may be going on a first date. Or you’ve been invited to a corporate party. Or you are meeting your significant other’s family for the first time. Naturally, you are going to be concerned. Not only do you want to make a good impression, but you also want everything to go smoothly.

The problem is that you can’t control how people are going to react to you. Some people are odd, and they can like you or dislike you based on factors that you could never imagine. And some people are just unmannerly and lack polish. I constantly am amazed at how certain people fail to grasp that their behavior is socially unacceptable. So, social situations are unpredictable and, therefore, can be nerve-racking.

However, while you can’t control other people, you can control how you prepare for stressful social situations. For instance, if you are going on a first date, wear you best clothes that are suitable for the occasion. Make sure your hair is recently cut and neatly coiffed. Get a good night’s sleep the night before. In other words, make sure that you look pulled together. If you look in the mirror and see your best self, you will feel confident when meeting someone new. Then the only thing you have left to do is to just be yourself!

Preparation is just as important for professional situations. Let’s say that you have to give a presentation. Or you are going on an interview. Or you are starting a new job. Of course, you will want to prepare as you would for any social situation and look your best. But you have to take your preparations one step further. You need to do as much reading as possible on your subject matter.

If you are going for an interview, you should know everything that you can about the employer. More importantly, you should know as much as possible about the job description and how your skills match that description. Be prepared to sell yourself to the employer. Be ready to make your case as to why you are the best candidate for the job! You can’t do that unless you have done your research in advance.

So, preparation is a big part of feeling confident when facing any uncomfortable situation. But let’s say you have prepared as much as you can, and you still feel nervous. That is normal! Below are some tricks that you can use to increase your confidence.

First, you can use your body language to convey confidence, even if you are not fully secure. Stand up and sit up straight at all times. That gives others the sense that you are in control of yourself. Make eye contact when you are speaking with others. In that way, you show others that you aren’t intimidated by them. And always (always!) give a firm handshake. In our western culture, a firm handshake is expected, and a limp handshake is a sign of weakness and disinterest.

Second, before facing any intimidating situation, visualize yourself being successful. Athletes do exactly this. For instance, before a race, many runners will spend time visualizing themselves crossing the finish line first. So, if you have an interview, visualize yourself walking into the interview with confidence and offering the interviewer a firm handshake. See yourself smiling at the interviewer and answering his or her questions with ease. And then imagine yourself getting a call or email with an offer for the job.

If you can see yourself being successful, then you’ll naturally walk into any situation assuming that you will do well. That attitude translates into a visible confidence which others can see.

Third, let go of the need for perfection. A long time ago, I gave up on the idea that my performance in any situation will be perfect. There always are too many unpredictable variables at play – my nerves, the reactions of other people. So, when things don’t go according to plan, I don’t fall apart. Instead, I have learned to be very good at thinking on my feet. And that is a far better skill to have than any other.

Remember that no one is naturally 100% confident. We all have to work at it. Consider using some of the above approaches to boost your confidence the next time that you are in an intimidating situation. As you practice these approaches, you naturally will become more and more confident.