In life, you will have disappointments. That is just an inevitable part of the human experience. However, it is not how many disappointments we have that defines our life experience. Rather, it is how we rebound from those disappointments that shapes our lives.

When you face a disappointment of any kind, there are three things you must do to come out of it successfully. Consider taking these three valuable steps, the next time that you face a disappointing outcome.

Try Again: Don’t let disappointments inhibit you from pursuing your dreams. If you face a disappointment, you must immediately try again. So, if you are applying for jobs and are rejected by an employer, keep sending out your resume! If your romantic relationship fails, get out there and keep meeting other people.

If you don’t immediately try again, you will get stuck in the quicksand of failure. For instance, if you lose your job, then sitting home, eating chips and bemoaning your former employer is not helping anything. Instead, you immediately need to dust off your resume and start applying for a new job. And while you wait for that new job, think of the new skills that you can acquire to add to your resume. Attack your unemployment instead of wallowing in it.

Forget About It: You must forget about the disappointment. Let it go. Don’t let it define you. Of course, that is easier said than done. For example, I once faced the disappointment of being laid off from a job. During the recession, the non-profit that I was working for was cutting costs, and they decided that my position wasn’t necessary. As a practical matter, they were right. My position wasn’t necessary to the running of the organization. However, it took a long time for me to get over that experience. Even though the layoff wasn’t personal, it still felt very personal.

It took some time for me to rebound from that experience. But at a certain point, I found that I had to simply let it go. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have the self-confidence to be good at my next job.

Learn from It: The third thing that you must do after a disappointment is to try to learn from the experience. On occasion, we can have disappointing things happen to us that simply are not our fault. But most of the time, we’ve contributed to the situation. For instance, when I was laid off from my job, it really was my own fault. I knew the organization was in financial trouble. I also knew that my position was superfluous. For at least the year before my job ended, I should have been looking for another job. But I’d grown comfortable at the job, and I was reluctant to change. Because I didn’t seek a new job when the handwriting was on the wall, I instead had to go through the stress of a layoff.

Learning from our disappointments is especially important when a relationship ends. The key is to look at your role in the demise of the relationship. For instance, let’s say your marriage ended. Ask yourself: Did I always behave in a respectful manner toward my spouse? Did I put their needs before my own, or was I selfish? Did I always need to have my own way, or was I willing to compromise?

If you aren’t honest with yourself as to why your disappointments have occurred, you’ll keep repeating your mistakes. Better to feel the discomfort of admitting to yourself, “I made some serious mistakes that have led me to this place,” than to keep your head stuck in the sand.

The next time that you are facing a disappointment, try taking these steps. Don’t let your disappointments keep you from achieving your dreams. Instead, use your disappointments to develop your courage and to learn valuable life lessons. You will be better for it.

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