So often, we pay attention to the wrong people. We give our attention to people who are rude to us. And then we waste our time mulling over why they were disrespectful toward us. Or we give our attention to people who don’t care for us. And we wonder what it is about us that they find distasteful. We give our attention to people who disagree with us. And we wonder why they can’t just see things our way. In short, we give our attention to anyone who doesn’t like us or how we think.

The problem is that there will always (always!) be someone out there who doesn’t like you. Even Mother Teresa had her detractors! If you have any amount of backbone, there will be people who don’t care for you. The only way to have everyone like you is to be a relentless people pleaser. And that is not a life worth living.

If you want to live a life that reflects your values, you have to accept that not everyone is going to like you. In fact, if unpleasant, selfish or unethical people dislike you, take that as a compliment! That means that you are doing something very right.

It takes confidence in yourself to not pay attention to folks who dislike you. You have to be happy with who you are in order to ignore the negative comments of others. And there is only one source for that kind of confidence: God.

So, the questions you should be asking yourself are these: Who should I be giving my attention to first? God. Whose opinion is the only one that matters? God’s. If I am good with God, does it matter what any human being thinks of me? No. No one else’s opinion matters.

If you ask yourself those three questions every single day, your confidence will increase. You will no longer be held hostage by the opinions of others. Instead, you will be able to go through life, confident in who you are. Why? Because God created you. And He loves you – just the way you are.

I honestly can say that I have people in my life who just don’t like me. And since I am a sensitive person, I used to take that very personally. But then one day I asked myself, “What type of people like me, and what type of people reject me?” When I looked at things that way, I realized that the people who I most admired and respected in terms of their decency and ethics were the people who appreciated me. And the people who rejected me were the people who, in my opinion, lacked moral fiber or who were grossly immature. It was like a lightbulb went off in my head. I realized that the right people liked me, and the right people didn’t like me.

Once I reached that conclusion, figuring out who I should give my attention to became abundantly clear. My attention should go first to God. It is my relationship with Him that makes the rest of my life work. It is His love for me that gives me the confidence to do my best each day.

Then my attention should go to the people who are good to me. My attention should go to those high quality, wonderful friends and family members in my life who I truly admire. And, as for those who don’t like me, they should be ignored.

This week, ask yourself, “Who is getting my attention? Are the wrong people taking up all my mental energy?” Stop paying attention to people who don’t like you, or who don’t treat you well. They aren’t worthy of your time.

Instead, give your time first to God in prayer and thanksgiving. Then give your energy to being kind to those who are kind to you or those who are suffering and are in need of your help. Your life is shaped by the things that you focus on. Give your attention to good things and good people.   Then you will have a good life.

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