Many of us are worriers. I am. I can fret about anything.   My worry habit comes from having spent large parts of my life dealing with people who were unpredictable (Unpredictable in a bad way. Not in the “I am going to throw Meerabelle a surprise party” fun kind of way.) As a result, over the years, I developed a habit of worrying about what screwed up thing could happen next. I suspect I am not alone. Many of us worry as a coping mechanism in order to deal with the unstable people in our lives.

I now am married to a man who is as stable as they come. He is a rock. So, my life, to a certain extent, is very predictable. Yes, unexpected things happen to us. But neither he nor I are the cause. The unpredictable things that happen to us occur because we have to deal with other people or life circumstances generally.

So, I am giving up the worry habit. The problem with worrying is this: It is a complete waste of time.  We only worry about things over which we have no control. If we had control over the situation, we wouldn’t worry about it. We would get up and do something about it. So, worrying is just wasted time.

Below are some approaches to being free from worry. Consider applying them in your own life and break that worry habit!

Ignore the Complaints of Others: If someone comes to you with a problem, you can do two things for them. You can encourage them and give them advice as to how to solve their problem. Or, you can solve their problem for them. That’s it. There are no other options.

I know people say, “You can be a listening ear.” That is ridiculous. What is the purpose of listening to someone complain about a problem that they have no desire to solve? There are people who get paid to do that – therapists. The rest of us are here to either give advice or help.

When we listen to someone complain who doesn’t want to change their situation, we end up worrying about them. And that is wasted time. Don’t worry about people who want to live in their own mess. You can’t control other people, so don’t worry about the problems that they don’t wish to solve.

Don’t Concern Yourself with the Opinions of Others: Worrying about whether other people like you or approve of you is a massive waste of time. I have found that you can be kind and generous to people, and they can still come up with a reason not to like you. Folks have their issues, which often have nothing to do with you.

You cannot control other people’s opinions of you. You can only control your own actions. So, hold yourself to a high standard. Act in a manner that allows you to feel good about yourself.

For instance, I don’t worry about whether or not my boss likes me. She is a terrific person, so, of course, I would be delighted if she liked me and appreciated my work. But I cannot control her opinion of me. All I can do is work hard at my job and treat her in a respectful manner. But I don’t worry about her opinion of me because that is out of my control.

Don’t worry about whether or not people like you. That is not something that you can control. Instead, do your best and like yourself!

Prepare for the Future. Don’t Worry About It: There is no sense worrying about the future. So many things can happen in the future that you could never predict. And the problems that you are worrying about today ultimately may never happen. The future is unknown, so there is no sense in worrying about it.

However, while worrying about the future is a waste of time, preparing for it is not a waste. Every day is an opportunity to lay the foundation for a great future. For instance, the care you give your body today through a healthy diet and exercise will pay off exponentially when you are older.

For example, in our church, we have a number of elderly people. Some are in their 90s and are in top physical shape. They are perfectly lucid and drive to church on their own. However, some are in their 70s and 80s and due to mistreating their bodies, they can no longer drive and their mobility is limited. They are paying for past mistakes due to a lifetime of poor diet, limited exercise and bad habits. Your good health habits of today will pay off in spades in the future as you get older.

We should also prepare for the future with respect to our finances. There is nothing wrong with spending money today on vacations or things that you might enjoy. But in order to prepare for the future, money has to be saved, as well. Financial emergencies are a lot less stressful when there is a nest egg available. Similarly, retirement is not a matter of worry when you have money saved to enjoy the Golden Years.

Join me in breaking the worry habit. Worry is nothing but wasted time. Instead, focus your mental energies on improving yourself and enjoying your life. That is time well spent.

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